B•F•R•W•W – The New Digest

The things I am currently digging in five easy categories – Bingeing (TV), Feeling, Reading, Watching (Films), Writing.

Bingeing

There’s a lot going on TV wise this Autumn/Winter but the most exciting is Pose Season 2 which has already succeeded in making me sob like a baby five minutes into the first episode. I’m trying not to smash the whole series in a day but it’s very moreish.

This season is centered around Madonna’s Vogue record, inspired by the NY ballrooms – House ma Blanca (Mj Rodriguez) is convinced this will bring the community mainstream acceptance while Pray Tell (Billy Porter) has seen it all before. Both are dealing with the HIV epidemic and fighting for their human rights – while Elektra (Dominique Jackson) is enjoying the spoils of her new (so far secret) career and Angel (Indya Moore ) is taking the fashion industry by storm. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend this amazing show – it is everything.

Obviously I’m all over Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK as well. Team Divina all the way.

Also watching: WatchmenSwamp ThingThe Young OffendersCreepshow

Feeling

I’ve decided not to fight Christmas this year – so I’m feeling festive. I didn’t get it at all last year so honestly fuck it, why not ride the wave with everyone else? My manager has already put up her tree and I’ve so far watched more Christmassy flicks than I care to admit – I’m saving Love Actually (2003) and The Holiday (2006), don’t worry. I’m thinking of making my own Christmas cards too – which is frankly obscene.

It’s also my birthday in just over a week and I wasn’t going to do anything but got talked into at least having an intimate dinner so there’s that to look forward to. There are six of us and I’m going to put on a new dress and false lashes – and enjoy the excellent company. I know I’m loved and completely blessed – and I am forever grateful for my loved ones.

Reading

Yes I’m reading more Stephen King – it’s the perfect time of the year for spooky and Christine is a wonderful story. My horror soulmate Matt is reading it at the same time and the regular check-ins with each other are the best bit. I will admit to finding this slow going though. It’s not Christine’s fault – I love it when I dip in – I think it’s honestly because the book’s so physically heavy, and it’s harder to read in the tub (my prime reading place).

I promise to review it when I’m done.

Also reading: My Favorite Thing is MonstersBuffy (Comics)

Watching

I’ve just re-watched Nerve (2016) on Amazon Prime, which was a lot better than I remembered – and I bloody love Emma Roberts. I’ve filled you in on Doctor Sleep which was v. good and of course, my shameful Christmas consumption.

My next cinema visit is to see Last Christmas with Helen on Tuesday – which I feel will be the final ingredient needed to get me feeling appropriately festive. I’m pretty sure I’ll be ruining my make-up for Emilia Clarke and I’m cool with it. Crying is cathartic, yo.

Also watching: Before I Wake (2016) • Gerald’s Game (2017) – I’m very much having a Mike Flanagan revival.

Writing

I wrote this, didn’t I? That’s about it on the writing front, unless you count the assessments I’ve done for my advanced Wicca course which is so fun. I’m loving it. I’ve submitted my first four assessments and come out with a 97% pass rate so far. I’m considering doing Astrology and Tarot next.

What are you up to?

Life Update: September Edition

I thought I’d free flow a life update because I don’t really do that enough – and even though I often struggle to think about anything interesting I’ve been doing, that’s not really the point. We’re being real here and have to learn to take the mundane with the exciting.

So… how the fucking fuck is it already not just September but MID September? This year has flown by. I mean, I’m not too mad when Autumn is unfolding before me and The Best Month Ever™ is just round the corner but you know what I mean. Where does the time go, etc., etc. It is actually frightening how quickly the days slip through our fingers but then again what isn’t terrifying at the moment? October may celebrate the spookiest holiday but we’ve got a Brexit deadline looming and I can’t deny I’d rather take on Fred Krueger than leave the EU. At least Freddy doesn’t extend his intention to slash you in your dreams for months on end. At least Freddy isn’t a Tory.

I didn’t come here to talk shakily about politics though, don’t worry. I’m merely saying that there’s discourse in the air and no amount of burying my head in the sand is going to change it – I’m scared and we’re fucked. But being fucked can bring positivity – it means we focus on the things that really matter such as loved ones and down time – and new shampoo. I’ve just bought a new one from Herbal Essences which is made with bourbon and Manuka honey. How lush does that sound? I can’t wait to soak it into my frizzy head tonight.

I’m currently reading Agatha Christie to usher in the colder nights and it’s the perfect combo – the deep conditioner, the book and the hot bath. These are the simple things that bring me joy and make me feel grateful I have the basic things we need to live. These are the photogenic self-care acts that we all talk about on social media. These are the things that help but aren’t the ultimate cure because we all need more than expensive bubble bath and crime novels. We need love and understanding and space and time – but it’s a start.

I’ve dragged myself over the coals quite a lot already this month. I’ve as usual taken on too much and failed at everything (in my head) so I’ve had to really assess my extra-curricular activities and chop a few things for a while. The podcast for example is now on hold until the New Year – after which we might bring in back in a different guise. I’m sad not to be doing it right now but I’m also excited for the future. The Wicca is my main focus at the moment. I’m really enjoying reading and getting into it – no spells yet but I’m desperate to get cracking on them. The diploma is going well and so far I am at 100% grade. Again, I know the real learning is off book and in the real world – and that the rest of my life can be dedicated to honing my skills and living my best witch life.

In the New Year I am also going to start looking for something new to do for a living. I have loved my current job and get to work with a plethora of incredible people but I’ve just celebrated my second year and I’m starting to feel uninspired. All in all things are okay and when they’re not I have an idea of how to make them better. I can’t complain, I have everything I need.

How are you?

Working Overtime

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I’m going to free flow this bad boy today because sometimes little truth nuggets pop out when you’re not thinking about them and that can be a freeing feeling. I’m very tired at the moment, doing lots of overtime at work to pay for things coming up later in the year. Birthdays, trips, visits. Life.

I’m also knackered because I’m feeling super anxious all the time, about everything. Last night it was because I’m reading Pet Semetary and before anything has even kicked off horror wise I’m fretting about death like I’m the little girl Ellie Creed in the story. She’s just learning about loss and death after visiting the Cemetary (PROPER SPELLING) and now she can’t get her head around the fact her cat might die one day and I feel you, girl. I feel you.

Death is something I think of often but it’s never really to do with my own mortality (lie, I’m terrified of ageing) but more about other people. Like, please don’t leave me alone in this cold, unforgiving world.

I know it’s irrational and it’s part of the reason I sought help last Summer, why I’m medicated and trying to learn to let go of the worries I can’t control. Losing my partner, family members or friends is my worst fear and I have to accept that I can’t do anything about it. Phew, this got deep quick, didn’t it?

Perhaps I should stay away from Stephen King for a little while.

In other news, I’m slowly saving money for our trip to Amsterdam in March. We’re going to do a graffiti tour and I can’t wait for that. March is Glynn’s birthday month so I feel as though this trip is a double celebration. I can’t wait to get on a barge and drift past the houseboat we’re going to live on when we’re old.

And before March, Lightle‘s coming to stay and that is the greatest! When your girl sends you a message saying all she needs it tea and movies, you know you picked a good one. So this is going to be an exciting year, I have Copenhagen in October, plus more coming and this girl better pull her socks up and stop shopping because money is a thing one needs to live, yo.

In creative news, I’ve started putting a plan for a novel together. There’s a theory that we all have at least one book in us and I’ve been doubting that for a while. Then I got a fit of inspiration and now I’m really planning it. It’s embryonic days obviously and I have the right to sit on my hands for a while while I work up the confidence to hammer it out but it’s there, at the surface. The splinter I’ve just started to work out from beneath the skin.It’s almost there. The story, which is likely to evolve into something altogether different, is going to be about friendship and that’s all I can reveal for now.

Things are good and bad, rough and smooth, heavenly and hellish – all at once. Life, in essence and who’d change anything about it?

How’re things with you?