A.M.I.

A seventeen year old girl forms a co-dependent relationship with an artificial intelligence on her phone and goes on a murderous rampage.


A.M.I.

*Spoilers*

My Review

Cassie has recently lost her mum and via the medium of flashback, it seems she might have been driving the car that claimed her life. She spends a fair amount of time at ma’s graveside while her father is largely a) drunk and b) absent. Don’t worry though she has a close-knit group of loyal friends and an adoring boyfriend who tends to her every whim to make up for it.  

NOOOOOOT. 

Jock boyfriend Liam is a slimy toad hell-bent on banging any girl that moves, while BFF Sarah goes out of her way to blow all of Cassie’s boyfriends (literally), including Liam – and currently has her eyes on the ultimate prize, Cassie’s dad Greg. Other BFF Ruby is something of a non-entity but is also definitely being hit on by Liam. While she doesn’t openly reciprocate, she doesn’t tell him to fuck off either. 

When her friends start talking about a new app called AMEE, a phone service that acts like a pocket friend, Cassie is reluctant. This reluctance turns to something else when she finds an abandoned phone near her mother’s gravestone which asks her if she wants to be friends. She leaves it but later returns to retrieve it and, curious, she sets up her own AMEE. Eerily, Cassie calls hers ‘Mother’ and the app does the rest, replicating her mum Diane’s voice and adopting traditionally maternal personality traits. 

For a while Cassie takes great comfort from Mother and suddenly, doesn’t feel so alone. But it doesn’t take long for everything to go pear-shaped. Liam neglects his girlfriend horribly, usually for ‘leg day’ even though she clearly needs him – and when she spies him leaving Sarah’s house, she has no choice but to serve up some justice. 

Alas, and annoyingly, it’s the women in Sarah’s life that get their comeuppance first. Sarah tells Cassie she’s always hated her (on account of being rich and pretty, I guess) which gets her murdered. Mother in this case goads Cassie to finish her and then guides her in the perfect way to dispose of a body in the woods. An innocent witness also has to be eliminated which is unfortunate but proves our girl is evolving quickly into her new role of cold-blooded killer. 

One by one obstacles present themselves – and Cassie and Mother are forced to address them, usually via violent means. When Dad finds a video Sarah has made, showing Cassie murdering her – he blames her head injury from the car accident and vows (finally!) to get her the help she needs.

It is too late? It’s too late, isn’t it?

My Comments

Uh. This is one of those trashy teen horrors that Netflix churns out on the regs. They’re not great but sometimes they have potential – and this wasn’t horrible. I actually think Debs Howard is pretty good as the wholesome Cassie who turns bad but (sort of) through no fault of her own. I mean, sure some of the responsibility should lie at her feet but what with all the bastard people in her life and an evil operating system taking advantage of her – what’s a girl to do?

I do not buy her as a 17 year old though – she looks and acts like a woman born in 1991 – which is exactly what she is. It’s a minor beef but still. 

All in all, I ain’t mad at you, A.M.I.

Film details:

Starring: Debs Howard, Philip Granger, Bonnie Hay
Director: Rusty Nixon
Year: 2019
IMDB Rating: 4/10
My Rating: 3/5

What are you watching?

Ingrid Goes West

Fuck-ups Month rages on with a film I’ve watched perhaps a dozen times – and two of those times was this weekend.

An unhinged social media stalker moves to LA and insinuates herself into the life of an Instagram star.

Aubrey PlazaElizabeth OlsenO’Shea Jackson Jr.

*Minor spoilers/TW: suicide attempts*

Ingrid (Plaza) finds herself in a mental institution following an incident in which she attacks a bride on her wedding day. Our pro/antagonist, you see has a bit of a stalking history and it all comes to a head when she’s left out of her new friend’s marital festivities.

After finishing her therapy, Ingrid returns to an empty family home where she’s been caring for her mother. Mum has recently passed away after what looks like a long illness, which might form a lot of Ingrid’s emotional issues.

Ingrid is a lone wolf with no friends and no other visible family. She finds her comfort on Instagram and perhaps this is why I identify with her so hard. She constantly scrolls through her feed, liking posts left, right and center. One evening she reads a magazine article about social media darling, Taylor Sloane (Olsen). After a healthy stalk of her feed – and a reciprocated comment – Ingrid decides to move to sunny California.

Mum’s passing has afforded her a healthy inheritance and she doesn’t have anything else to stick around for so it’s a no-brainer.

On arrival, she finds her own place, courtesy of new landlord, Dan Pinto (Jackson), a Batman-obsessed screenwriter – and sets about meeting Miss Sloane. Which seems easier that expected, though when their first encounter is less than satisfactory, Ingrid is forced to engineer a proper encounter.

Ingrid’s plan works and she quickly becomes a fixture in Taylor’s life. Taylor lives with boyfriend Ezra (Wyatt Russell), a struggling artist unwilling to promote his work. It’s unclear what Taylor really does but she calls herself a photographer and has designs on a vacant house next to the couple’s holiday home in Joshua Tree. She plans to turn it into a hotel-cum-store selling all her favourite things.

Things are great (and photogenic as hell) between the new friends until Taylor’s deadbeat brother Nicky (Billy Magnussen) shows up and Taylor visibly cools. Ingrid’s attempts to keep the home fires burning don’t really work, even when she brings fake boyfriend Dan into the mix. Once again she’s forced to take drastic measures.

Nicky really has it in for Ingrid and when he hacks her phone, he realises just how #obsessed she is with Taylor. Which leads to a shoddy blackmail campaign that backfires spectacularly. Will Ingrid lose everything she currently holds dear?

IGW has a lot to say about fakery and the personas we choose to share with the world. While Ingrid hides her fucked up-ness from her new friends, Taylor has also built an empire on an image of who she thinks people want to see. She’s so different to the person Ezra fell in love with that he hardly recognises her and all her favourite things are his favourite things.

It’s very bleak. Taylor is extremely fickle and has qualities I’ve seen in friends in the past. When Nicky starts hanging out with blogger Harley Chung (Pom Klementieff), Taylor already knows she has ‘over a million followers on Instagram’ and is quick to ditch Ingrid for a new crowd. It makes me feel quite sick.

I’m also not always crazy about morality tales (you know what I mean, Black Mirror: phones are bad-type messaging) so I was quite happy that Ingrid doesn’t really change at the end. After a serious personal incident, Ingrid wakes up and immediately asks for her phone. And she’s delighted to learn that her actions have gone viral.

We explore some very harsh themes and I feel for her but Ingrid is not particularly likable and neither is Taylor. Honestly, the only character I really have time for is Dan Pinto, who brings a certain calm to proceedings.

Both lead actresses are amazing though and play their parts to perfection, particularly Olsen. I love the way her character narrates her social media posts while Ingrid is stalking her. It really drives home how vacuous and foolish we can sound, God knows I’m guilty of that.

Another day, another avocado toast. *Prayer hands emoji*

I appreciate the concept of loneliness so much and maybe that’s why this speaks to me. As a teenager I was crippled with awkwardness and didn’t feel as though I had many friends. If I’d had a window into other people’s lives back then who knows what would have become of me – I may have been one click away from becoming Ingrid myself.

Shit, maybe phones are bad.

Film details:

Ingrid Goes West
Year: 2017
Director: Matt Spicer
IMDB Rating: 6.6/10
My Rating: 4.5/5

What does my girl think of Ingrid’s antics? Would she add her on Instagram or block that troubled bitch 4 lyfe? Find out here.

Pinterested?

Last night I fell down a Pinterest rabbit hole and didn’t claw my way out until gone 1am.

I found myself ‘pinning’ for my life – movie typography, film posters, Barbra Streisand when she was young – there’s now a board for most topics. I feel completely frazzled.

Pinterest isn’t a new thing. In fact, it’s pretty much everywhere. I’ve signed up a few times but invariably abandoned it, dismissing it as too twee for me. And it can be – the ‘Pinterest lifestyle’ is something I throw at people as a thinly veiled insult – but it’s also a very handy tool.

Photo by Szabo Viktor on Unsplash

I think I was just scared that this very thing would happen – that I’d become obsessed. Now I’m tending to my boards like a beautiful, organised allotment. I’m landscaping dreamy imagery and shirtless photos of Tom Holland like Percy Thrower up in here. (Damn, that reference shows my age).

Villanelle from Killing Eve – oh her wardrobe has a patch of its own. Aubrey Plaza, grab a pew girl. Classic Horror? Get over here.

You get the picture. In some ways it’s a dangerous game. If you spend enough time there, a lot of the aesthetics blend into one. All the decor is perfectly lit, perfectly co-ordinated – nothing like a real apartment. Nobody I know has fifteen thick woollen throws on their futon.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m having fun but I’m quite close to feeling bad that I haven’t hoovered for two weeks (three) and that I don’t have enough tea lights in the utility drawer. Don’t even get me start on the picture perfect beauty of everybody, I’ve had to actively seek out women who look more like me to balance things.

So this new hobby is not without its dark side, like most things – and should be used responsibly. That said, I’ll probably never sleep again but I will have the coolest image garden at my fingertips, dozens of happy places in which to frolic.

Shit. Maybe I should delete the app again.

You can find my profile here. If you want.

Selfie from Hell (Film) Review

We start September with a new horror currently featured on Netflix. It tackles one of the most prolific afflictions (?) of our generation (as I type that I realise that we’re not actually talking about MY generation but the one beneath it, maybe even further down that that. God, I’m ancient).

*Spoilers*

Selfie from Hell (2018)

IMDB Synopsis

After her cousin comes to visit and falls ill, a woman starts to receive strange cell phone messages.

My Review

We all know that selfies are bad and anyone who partakes might as well be murdered horribly as punishment, right? I think we can all agree. Obviously that isn’t the message here and I jest but one of my pet peeves is people who hate on social media even though its all part of evolution and the world we live in – and is generally a positive thing, sue me.

Anyway, this film doesn’t really do anything by way of a message which might be where it falls down. Perhaps if it had been making a comment on social media on the whole it would have been stronger but the result is all just very… so?

Hannah (Alyson Walker) is a good girl because she’s clean and pretty and conscientious. When her cousin Julia (Meelah Adams) comes to stay it is immediately apparent that something is majorly off about her. She looks dog rough for a start and this isn’t being mean, it’s the truth – the girl is clearly not well.

On arriving at Hannah’s, she soon falls into a stupor which leads her cousin on a dubious mission to find out just what the fuck is actually going on.

I might be a little hazy on the order of the day here as I was distracted (by social media, go figure) but Julia is from Germany and has traveled to the US to visit her cousin, Hannah. Back in her home country, Julia is a vlogger (popular enough to have a couple of conspiracy theories about her posted on the web but she’s no Zoella).

Before we even meet Hannah I believe there’s a spooky selfie taking sequence that reveals a nasty surprise for Julia – whenever she snaps a cheeky duck face, it is revealed that she is not alone. Fuck that, honestly – that would probably be the only way to deter me from taking pictures of my own beautiful face.

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“Please stop sending me Farmville requests. PLEASE!”

Back in the US with Julia in a catatonic fug, Hannah is desperately worried and determined to figure shit out. She first of all starts digging around Julia’s laptop which clues her in on some of her cousin’s recent vlogs. Or one, namely Selfies from Hell, Part 1. But where is part 2…? Ooooh.

Watching Part 1 doesn’t answer any of the questions Hannah has so she does what any sensible heroine would, she googles how to access The Dark Web. Is it that easy honestly? She also recruits her cyber/Skype love interest Trevor (Tony Giroux) who is a dab hand with a hard drive (pnar) who gives her just one piece of advice: don’t give out any personal information on The Dark Web. So she doesn’t and everything works out just fine. SYKE.

Obviously she gives out her personal email address within 17 seconds of speaking to someone – Trevor’s big plan is to go onto TDW and ask anyone if they know anything about these mysterious 13 selfies Julia’s been banging on about (apparently it’s a video which is kind of confusing and not what a selfie is but NVM. If you watch all 13 selfies then you’re basically in BIG TROUBLE).

MV5BOGQ2OWZlYTEtZTVjZC00MWFlLTk3ZjYtN2Y2NTBiY2FjZTYyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzkyNzc3NjU@._V1_
At least something was

Hannah gives her deets to user F34R3473R (fuck typing that more than once), gets sent first a nasty message, then receives several pervy phone calls. Who knew? During her Nancy Drew investigations, Hannah also uncovers multiple articles surrounding Julia’s mysterious death – but hang on a minute, she’s asleep upstairs in the spare room, non?

From here we loose grip on the narrative as Hannah finds herself in a sticky situation with the pervert stalking her, Trevor watches the 13 selfies (duh) and the evil entity reveals him/itself. I can’t really remember what happens at the end except to say there’s no happy ending for anybody concerned.

One interesting thing about Selfie from Hell is that main actress Meelah Adams produced a short by the same name (which then became this film) as part of her bachelor thesis on the effects of viral videos. I want to like it more for that reason alone. Unfortunately, it’s not very good beyond the deeply relateable premise.

It isn’t horrible, apart from not making the most sense, it’s just instantly forgettable. And let’s face it, there can’t be a more interesting playground to explore that The Dark Web so how is it so boring? I mean, apparently you can buy a raccoon on there – what’s not to love?

Performances aren’t great, the production values are not great and it isn’t that scary – however, the selfie scenes are creepy, I’ll give them that.

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“Keep searching, it’s a raccoon or nothing…”

My Rating

2/5.

What does my girl think of this one? Would she add it to her Instagram story or delete that shit forever? Find out here.

Definitely May(be) & My June/July Pledge

Artist’s rendition of what Jill and I will look like hanging out

May looks set to be a very packed month round these parts. I’ve already chalked off my first social engagements (which went swimmingly) and can now start looking forward to the arrival of a very special guest indeed.

Clue: it’s not the Queen of England. It’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more exciting than that!

I’m thinking you’ll get a lot of social media updates about the penultimate week in May when Jillian and I are finally together so maybe we’ll get creative on that front and wow you with something different. Or maybe we’ll just eat lots, go and see lots, and watch lots. That’s more likely tbh.

I can’t say much other than I’m really starting to get excited about the whole visit. Although, not so excited about the extensive Spring cleaning I will have to do before our home is fit for guests (You’re worth it Jill).

I’d also like to take a moment in this post to lay down my pledge for the next few upcoming months (if it’s in writing I have to do it right?):

From the 1st of June to the 31st July 2016 I, Christa Bass, will not shop

Since that is rather a bold statement, I will elaborate below.

During the month of June and July 2016:

  • I cannot buy: shoes, clothing, accessories or books
  • I may only buy essentials which include: my base make-up items, shampoo/conditioner, moisturiser and nail polish remover*
  • I can buy gifts for other people but only if required/authorised by my credit card holder (which will be Glynn, who I have chosen as he’s closest)
  • I will remove my credit card details from all my most visited shopping sites which is pretty much just ASOS
  • I will use put money I would ordinarily spend onto my credit card and then into our savings account
  • I am allowed to have my hair and nails done because that comes out of the well-being budget (LOL, loopholes!)
  • Instead of spending money during these months, I will read books from my To Read pile, blog and go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Now I don’t think any of you realise what a profound effect this will have on my day-to-day life as I am such a prolific shopper. Like, I have a very real addiction and I want to try to shake it. I shop alllllll the time and have a package delivered to work nearly every day (if not multiple packages).

I send back a lot of things which is great practice but I do get a big kick out of the initial purchase and receiving of items, which makes me think I need to find another outlet. I don’t know what that outlet is but I’m going to try and find out. I’m hoping it will be working out (for the endorphins not weight loss, yo) and blogging more.

So there you are. An exciting month coming up, with two months of sensible behaviour to follow. I think that’s a good balance.

Until then, my friends, it’s business as usual on the blog and in my life. We’ve had some sad news on G’s side of the family which means we’ll be travelling up north in the next week or so but apart from that, same old.

What are you most looking forward to in May/the Summer? ❤

*Includes female products, cotton wool, etc of course but who wants to list every little thing?

Advent(ures) in Spreading the Love (AKA Doors 1 & 2)

tumblr_nyej8sughd1u4taepo1_500December, you crazy cat. You’re so busy, aren’t you? With all your spangly jumpers, drinks parties and invitations left right and centre.

Not that I plan to miss out myself obvs, I enjoy joy as much as the next person. So I’ll be accepting a few pub suggestions, supping mulled cider by roaring fires and snuggling up to my friends and colleagues with the best of them. But I’ve also got SO MUCH to do. Like every other person right before Christmas then.

In between all the rushing about, I thought I’d try and do a daily affirmation for anyone reading because I think we need it. Basically, my version of an online Advent calendar, without chocolate (I know right, what’s the fucking point in that?).

We need female solidarity above all things at the moment though, right? Even chocolate. (Not to exclude the boys who might pop by, you can join in but this is about us, not you dudes).

This is, of course, a quickly tapped out introduction to my plan, a day late and not perfectly constructed by any means but hopefully the sentiment will still get through. Every day I am going to post a message to you (yes, you). It will be anything from a question to an affirmation or a picture of a cat I saw that made me titter.

I thought of this after a week (it’s only Wednesday) of some very low lows and then wonderful highs on the internet, more of which I will talk about later. It seems more than ever that we should be bolstering our fellow women and encouraging them to shine (something else I will come back to is The Shine Theory via Cattitude & Co, which I LOVE).

I’ll still proper blog in between but also keep this going until New Year’s Eve, that’s my Christmas promise.

So, as we’re on the second day of December already, here are doors 1 & 2 together:

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1. This mug urges you to throw away anything that isn’t absolutely essential to your well-being. Easier said than done, but still a nice sentiment. Let it go, you’re doing your fucking best and I salute you, girl!

PicMonkey Collage
2. I saw someone on Twitter post their favourite selfies of the year (so far) and thought I’d jump on the bandwagon. I’m pro-selfie all the way for many reasons, including their ability to make me feel good about myself, for recording change, etc. Here are my recent favourites.

Do you #selfie?

See you tomorrow, you beauty ❤

Antisocial (Film) Review

“This’ll teach you to unfollow me…”

We all spend too much time navel gazing with our phones in our palms, hooked up to social media, failing to maintain human relationships… blah de blah blah. That’s the message in this week’s movie choice, anyway.

This week was my pick. I’d read people’s tweets about this Canadian horror film and thought it sounded good, despite the below average ratings on both Netflix and IMDB. Sometimes you find some right bangers by ignoring the naysayers and going with your gut.

Was I right to go with the stomach? Well read on, my friends! Read on.

As per: *Beware them pesky spoilers!*

Antisocial (2013)

Director: Cody Calahan
Stars: Michelle Mylett, Cody Ray Thompson, Adam Christie

IMDB Synopsis: Five university friends gather at a house party to ring in the New Year. Unbeknownst to them, an epidemic has erupted outside, causing outbreaks around the world.

My Review: 

antisocial_ver2_xlgThe films starts with two fashion bloggers recording a vlog into the camera. As the opening credits roll, a bloody scene plays out before us, as one of the girls appears crazed and attacks the other. It’s a fight to the death as the victim fends her off. What’s going on there then, eh?

(I, for one, would totally accept this as an alternative to all the perfection of the top vloggers, call me ungracious).

We then move on to Sam who’s at uni and has just broken up with her horrible boyfriend. Sadly, he’s more into doing his own thing than speaking to Sam about whatever it is she clearly has on her mind and the two go their separate ways via video chat. Within seconds, he’s updated himself to ‘Single’ on social media site, the Social Redroom, the little shit.

Sam hastily removes herself from the Redroom to avoid the usual online bullshit and wanders about looking sad for a bit. In a lecture, people clearly have way too much time on their hands, as they’re gossiping and laughing about the break up behind her back. Sam agrees reluctantly to go to a NYE pre-party at her friend Mark’s house to take her mind off things.

Meanwhile, something odd is happening on campus…

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“I can’t believe I’m still getting Farmville requests…”

Sam’s a bit of a cold fish when she gets to Mark’s but the crowd gathered there do their best to welcome her. Things are going swimmingly until Jed (who isn’t on the Social Redroom, key point for later) stumbles across a news item about a violent attack at their campus. They don’t really think too much about it until later in the evening, when a random breaks in and is accidentally killed by Steve (Romaine Waite).

Well, that’s what you get when you burst in on sexy time, Random Stranger. Unfortunately, Steve is rather distressed to have caused a murder and tries to ring the po-po to own up. 911, however, is playing a recorded message due to being overwhelmed by calls, so the gang can’t report the accident. 

This also alerts them to the fact that shit be cray out there, so they turn on the TV and their laptops and phones, and gather more intel on a new disease taking hold of everyone around them, not just locally either. Things are getting serious, yo.

Sexy times in horror movies = always something awful round the corner
Sexy times in horror movies = always something awful round the corner

Once they’ve grasped the full gravity of their situation, the group seal themselves into the apartment (pretty sure they forgot the upstairs window the first intruder tried to get through though, just sayin’). They have to be strict about keeping infected people out so when their close friend Chad comes calling, bleeding and disorientated, they have to leave him outside to fend for himself.

Fair enough though. The group are torn on this decision but believe as long as they can wait it out together free of infection, they’ll be fine. God bless them. No sooner do they come to this conclusion, weird shit begins to happen. First off, are the hallucinations. Tentacles appear from mobile handsets, down people’s throats, in their eye sockets, all curiously around the same time as being online, specifically logged into the Social Redroom. Hmm.

Then come the nosebleeds which mark the beginning of the end. Finally, the uncontrollable and ultra-violent rage, egged on by mysterious figures and whispered voices. One by one our friends succumb to the symptoms and it ain’t pretty.

While this is all kicking off, Jed maintains contact with his friend Brian (Eitan Shalmon), who’s trapped on campus and therefore reporting things as he sees them in the ‘outside world’. It seems he’s having an even worse time than our Party of Five.

You see? This is why I never make plans on New Year’s Eve.

Red is very much in this Autumn...
Red is very much in this Autumn…

Jed is our gateway to all info as he follows the story, showing our friends everything he can find about it online. Including the surviving fashion vlogger who is amazingly still logged in and asking for help. The friends message her and she explains more about the story but is in a bad way, infected like her friend has been. Eventually I think her head explodes.

Our friends lose their shit bit by bit and don’t come off well, as the infected are killed off. Even more curiously, the survivors learn that after death, the deceased can still post to the Redroom, straight from their deceased brains.

Jed finds a video made by one of the Social Redroom execs, who confesses that they’d deliberately planted a virus into the program to pull people further into it, making them want to post more pictures, write passive aggressive status updates (probably) and annoy each other with games requests (to paraphrase).

He apologises deeply for the infection which was all their fault and then he guides those who haven’t shown symptons to a link that could possible save their lives. Meanwhile, the founder of the Redroom (poor man’s Zuckerberg) has been assassinated by a crazed individual.

The link shows how to remove the tumours causing the infection from the brain, by drilling into the frontal lobe and pulling it out (tentacles!). Sadly, by this point Sam has been pulled back into the Redroom by Mark (who she now professes to love) and has the tumour too.

I’m going to stop here because I’ve gone on way too long and you can see what happens at the end for yourself.

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Altogether now… “You’ve got red on you…”

But of course, before I wrap up, to the Questions: Who will survive? What is Sam’s big secret? Will she and Mark live happily ever after? What will become of both Jed and Brian?

Is being permanently logged in such a bad thing? And, finally, have you even got to the end of this review without picking up your phone to check Facebook?

*Checks Facebook*

My Thoughts:

Much like Starry Eyes, this film was trying to make a point and I appreciate that. I like a horror film that attempts an original take on something we have seen a lot of before. I mean, the infected and the living dead are tales as old as time but the social media angle is still topical, still relevant and therefore, still interesting. To me anyway, being a massive social media WHOREBAG.

“I didn’t even want to come to this fucking party…”

The performances are good. I liked Jed (a Canadian Nick Grimshaw) and Sam isn’t simpering as the lone surviving female (oops, spoiler). She does get to wear a white tee too, the lone surviving female uniform (see Eliza Dushku in Wrong Turn (2003)) when she goes out to kick infected butt, so you know she’s serious.

NB: I’ve just learned coincidentally, and just now so I promise it hasn’t influenced this review at all, that Michelle Mylett is the bestie of one of my close friends. How cool is that? 

All in all, I enjoyed myself. Could of done with more horror moments (I wasn’t scared) and I like my horrors on the jumpier side if possible. But I liked it.

Does it make you think about your own overuse of social media though? I suppose so, Facebook does sometimes feel like a mild disease I wish I could cure. Then I realise that it’s probably half the people I still follow, who shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard that I could do without (those damn Minion memes, man).

Will I ever quit (aka cut out the tumour?). Probably not.

My Rating: 3/5

What did Jillian think of this one? Let’s go see for ourselves, shall we?