Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga, or: Papa Don’t Preach, I’m Keeping My Sweety

This week’s pick is only 2 hours long which is a blessing in comparison to last week but still waaaaay too long to get to the fucking point. Like, I get it, not everything is easy to come right out with but c’mon. Can we all just try to be a little more succinct?

Some love stories are not simple, Sweety’s is one such story. She has to contend with her over-enthusiastic family that wants to get her married, a young writer who is completely smitten by her, a secret that she harbours close to her heart.

Sonam KapoorAnil KapoorRajkummar Rao

Director: Shelly Chopra Dhar • Year: 2019
IMDB Rating: 5.5/10 • My Rating: 2.5/5

My Review

Sweety (Sonam Kapoor) is something of a catch. A kindhearted babe (what else?), she’s bound to marry a good man and live her best life just as soon as her father, Balbir (Anil Kapoor!) can find a decent one worthy of her. At a wedding she gets talking to Kuhu (Regina Cassandra), who’s brother is smitten with Sweety from across the room.

One day, by chance, Sweety waltzes into the life of struggling playwright Sahil (Rao). The pair have an impromptu chat about true love until Sweety is forced to flee the scene because she’s being chased by a strange man. Sahil goes with her and gets her to the Metro, where the pair are separated and Sahil ends up in a fight with her pursuer. At the police station afterwards, he learns that the dude is Sweety’s brother, Babloo (Abhishek Duhan). As the son of a famous film director, Sahil manages to use this connection to get released from custody and on the way out, he learns were Sweety lives, which is a town somewhere outside Delhi, where he lives.

With the help of set chef (personal assistant AND actress?) Mrs Chatro (Juhi Chawla), Sahil manages to cook up a plan to go to Sweety’s hometown and track her down. Which isn’t creepy at all. Here he starts to court our heroine but things are tricky since Sweety’s brother has stirred up trouble by telling the family she’s been sneaking off to see her Muslim boyfriend. Terrified she’ll have a difficult life and bring shame on the family by dating outside their religion, Dad grounds Sweety. Little does he know her real secret is far more scandalous.

(Sweety BTW is a big believer in the harder the obstacle, the more epic the love story – a sentiment I always believed myself before I learnt the hard way. I appreciate that we all need to learn from our own relationship mistakes but man, is that a pile of steaming love propaganda.)

So Sahil mistakes Balbir for the family chef and passes him a note for his girl. Balbir, it should be noted is a keen chef but his mother gives him constant shit because it isn’t a man’s role. When he watches cookery shows, she mocks him for becoming a woman. Which is kind of rich as he already works in fashion but okay, ma. So Balbir already understands what it’s like to have stifled dreams, something he might want to bear in mind later on.

This review is going to be very long if I don’t refine it just a tad – Sahil eventually gets back in touch with Sweety – and in with her family via the power of the fake acting class (that old chestnut) and they assume he’s the Muslim boyfriend. Drunk and in love at a family party, Sahil tells her how he feels – and she’s forced to tell him the truth: she’s in love with Kuhu!

When Shahil laughs at her, it seems all is lost. But Sweety is the bigger person and the two form a solid friendship when she tells him the whole story. She goes in hard about her feelings of isolation growing up, how she had believed nobody would ever love her – until Kuhu, who wants them to go and live in London together.

While a true friendship blossoms between the two, Balbir also connects with kooky divorcee Chatro. The pair bond over their love of cooking and Chatro, it turns out is rather a modern woman. When she tells Balbir that she’s happy with whatever her children choose do – marry or not – as long as they choose kind partners, he’s inspired – and grants Sweety his blessing to marry Shahil.

Which she considers for a second until he assures her he’s going to sort everything out, once and for all. Well, a fake play about lesbians ought to do it (with Sweety and Kuhu in the starring roles, naturally). But when the truth inevitably outs, will Balbir be man enough to stand beside his gay daughter?

My Comments

Oh fuck I cried at the end of this and because – *spoiler* – of course Daddy comes through. Sweety’s journey is heartbreaking and sadly I would think, only too common. The message is lovely and at the end, the fake play seemingly touches the life of a young girl in the same situation as Sweety was. In turn, I would think this movie could help a lot of people and is an interesting addition to the LGBT+ world cinema cannon.

Unfortunately, it’s a bit boring in places and I think that might just be down to its mammoth run-time. The performances are good and Anil Kapoor is a delight, as always. I adore the older women in this, grandma especially and Chatro is a breath of fresh air. Her dream is to act and she seems unperturbed every time someone tells her she’s no good.

Brother Babloo can suck it as the only family member who can’t cut his sister a god damn break. It’s 2019 bitch, deal with it. But, my main criticism, beyond the length, is that there are not enough songs (a fact I am expecting with stick in Jill’s craw too). What we do get musically wasn’t even subtitled so we could enjoy the lyrics, which are always the best bit.

What does Jill think of this Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga? Would she dip herself in honey and throw herself to the lesbians or shun it forever? Find out here.

Frida

I thought we’d go out with a bang on our last movie because our Based on a True Story Month has had mixed results – and not one, but two appearances by my least favourite Franco brother.

I consider this movie to be the Queen of all biographies, a labour of love (in getting the film made) and a remarkable story rolled into one. With a powerhouse performance from one of the most enigmatic women in the world – playing one of the most fierce and fascinating women of all time.

Bring it on.

Prepare to be seduced.

Frida (2002)

A biography of artist Frida Kahlo, who channeled the pain of a crippling injury and her tempestuous marriage into her work.

Starring: Salma Hayek • Alfred Molina • Geoffrey Rush

Monobrow! Monobrow! Monobrow!

*Minor spoilers*

We meet Frida (Salma Hayek) just before the horrifying events of the accident that saw her seriously injured – and plaqued by constant pain for the rest of her life. She’s a rebel girl for sure – and the tram crash that results in her being impaled by a metal pole doesn’t stop her – but it does shape her future in good and bad ways.

While bedridden and in full-body plaster, Frida begins to doodle on her cast – her father brings her a canvas on which to transfer her artwork. She becomes pretty good I guess (spoiler: I fucking love her work) and remembering an encounter with artist Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina) just before the accident, Frida finds him to ask him what he thinks of her art.

Unsurprisingly, Diego is blown away by the artwork and by the woman herself – and the two quickly become comrades in art. Diego’s belief in her talent is what keeps her going. Romance and then marriage quickly follows the friendship, though Diego is honest about his shortcomings, telling Frida that he will never be able to stay monogamous. She demands loyalty, if not fidelity – and he agrees.

Ugh. This scene was so fricking HOT

Both our lovers take on other lovers. Frida being bisexual enjoys liasions with both men and women. At one point she has an affair with a woman also shagging Diego at the same time. The marriage is tempestuous and is tested further when the pair travel to NYC for a commission of Diego’s mural work. The mural, Man at the Crossroads, is destroyed when the Rockefeller Center’s patron, Nelson Rockefeller (Edward Norton) asks the artist to compromise his communist vision. At the same time Frida suffers a miscarriage and her mother passes away.

I won’t got through this scene by scene but when the pair return to Mexico, Diego fucks it all up by sleeping with Frida’s sister Cristina (Mía Maestro). Frida kicks him out and the pair are only reunited (not romantically) when Frida agrees to put up Russian politician Leon Trotsky (Geoffrey Rush) and his wife, who have been granted political asylum in Mexico.

But when Frida and Trotsky start an affair of their own – he is forced back home and into the path of potential danger to protect his marriage. Diego takes this affair hard, claiming to be broken hearted and Frida travels to Paris. When Trotsky is inevitably murdered, Diego becomes chief suspect and Frida is incarcerated in his place.

“Salud, motherfuckers!”

The film takes us to the end of Frida’s life, without Diego and then with, as they remarry and see out the rest of her days together. This film is so beautiful, seamlessly melding some of Kahlo’s most stunning real life works into film scenes. There are little flights of artistic fancy, stop motion animation and illustration – and it’s truly stunning.

The performances are flawless, Hayek is particularly mesmerising and she’s the perfect actress to play Frida. Although I don’t know as much about the real Kahlo as I should, I think she nails the artist’s steely determination and her fire perfectly. Frida’s talent is seriously something else, her paintings channel all the pain and anguish of her life and makes it beautiful.

I think this film is wonderful. I would have loved more girl on girl action but that’s not a criticism per se. I’d say that about most films. Make every character gay – looking at you Captain Marvel and Valkyrie.

I also like how it examines the institution of marriage and the idea of monogamy. While Frida isn’t someone you’d expect to take the traditional route, her decision to marry Diego despite his honesty is seen as radical, maybe it was.

Painting what you know can be brutal, yo.

⭐⭐⭐⭐½ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What does my love think of Frida? Would she paint it in a bathtub or destroy it on Edward Norton’s watch? Find out here.

Yes or No?

 

A slice of Thai LGBTQ dramarama this week, courtesy of Netflix, which boasts an impressive selection of gay world cinema if you ever fancy it. The main thing I have taken from this viewing experience is the fact I have little to no patience and should probably take a step back and try to enjoy the sloooooooow burn. Was it worth the wait? Read on to find out, loves.

Yes or No? (2010) Yes or No: Yaak Rak Gaw Rak Loey (original title)

Pie is a sweet girl who moves into a new college dorm room where she finds out that her new roommate Kim, is a tomboy who looks and dress like a boy. As their friendship develops, Pie and Kim begin to wonder if the feeling they feel for one another is just an ordinary friendship…

Starring: Sushar Manaying • Supanart Jittaleela • Arisara Thongborisut

*Spoilers*

Uh despite what the synopsis above says, Pie (Sushar Manaying) ain’t that sweet. Not to begin with anyway. She changes dorm rooms at university because she can’t handle the drama from her friend Jane (Arisara Thongborisut), a pretty lesbian who falls in love more often than she changes her knickers.

So, full of excitement for her new start in a new room, she’s peeved to learn her new roommate is a ‘tomboy’. That’s a girl who lacks femininity, dresses like a dude and dates girls if you’re not au fait. Kim (Supanart Jittaleela) isn’t so sure this is what she really is, given that she’s never fancied a boy or a girl but Pie has already taken against her. She quickly sets out clear boundaries, instructing Kim to keep to ‘her side’ (in case dyke germs are contagious) and screaming at her not to make any noise.

A mood

Like I said, kind of a twat. You see, Pie is influenced heavily by what her mother thinks and unfortunately ma is a monster with a very narrow mindset. Kim is a cutie and doesn’t deserve the shit she keeps getting thrown at her so it’s nice when Jane develops a crush on her. But, love is complicated and you’ll never guess who she really has heart eyes for… really, you’ll never see it coming.

Slowly but surely Pie and Kim begin to bond much to Jane’s dismay. Pie also has an on-off love interest skulking around in the shape of mum-approved Van, a dude who constantly turns up unannounced with flowers and tells everyone that he’s Pie’s man.

Honestly, there isn’t an awful lot to this story. Pie and Kim are attracted to each other but Pie is scared and confused by her feelings because of her bitchy mother and her friends, who might take the piss. Kim seems pretty comfortable in her own skin to be honest, as she wraps her head around her feelings for Pie. And she’s forever bringing her slices of cake so she’s definitely a keeper.

“How much can you bench?”

When it all becomes too much and the two lover/friends reach the point where they need to make a decision – yes or no FFS? – will they both have the courage to see it through?

Well, this is the angstiest film I’ve seen in a long time. It’s like an extra, extra long episode of Home and Away from my teen years. I’m not against it for this at all, in fact once I’d got into the groove with the main characters I was enjoying myself. It’s just that it took us nearly two hours to reach any sort of conclusion – and there’s only so much will they/won’t they I can stand. You’re not Tim and Dawn from The Office, guys (UK edition).

I also really hated half the secondary characters. While I wasn’t supposed to agree with anything Pie’s mum had to say – about sexual abomination and going against nature – I expected her to come around for the love of her daughter. Perhaps she did off camera or will in the sequels (of which there are two on Netflix, no less) but I stayed mad at her as the credits rolled.

Pie and Jane’s crew include a grouchy girl named Nerd and the token boy called… Boy. Boy is a highly-sexed oddball who propositions every man or boy within spitting distance and I kind of love him for it. He also sports the exact same haircut that I had in secondary school.

Justice for Jane

My main beef though, pace not included, was that Kim never tells Jane she’s not interested and I feel she deserved better. I mean, yes she falls for a new love every other week but she’s a romantic, give her a break. Also, there’s a really unfortunate rape joke thrown in about two thirds in and a clunky attempted suicide scene which isn’t very sensitive. Don’t play these two things for laughs guys.

I’m here for lesbian love stories though and it’s always refreshing to enter an almost entirely female space so I’m not mad. It’s not very good, the acting is shaky at best and it’s so OTT I felt like throwing my own tantrum just so I didn’t feel left out – but at least it isn’t Peppermint.

⭐⭐½ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What did my lady love Jill think of this angst-fest? Would she banish it to the other side of the room or push their beds together? Find out here.

Margarita with a Straw (Film) Review

An Indian coming-of-age tale this week and it’s a pretty nice one really. Certainly more joyful than the fucking miserable Duck Butter from last week. Thank God because I was not down for that much introspection again, not for a while anyway.

*Spoilers*

Margarita with a Straw (2014)

IMDB Synopsis

A rebellious young woman with cerebral palsy leaves her home in India to study in New York, unexpectedly falls in love, and embarks on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery.

My Review

Laila (Kalki Koechlin) is a rebellious songwriting teen who attends Delhi University. She also happens to have Cerebral Palsy. She writes music for an indie band which results in her falling in love with the lead singer. Unfortunately, when he doesn’t feel the same way about her, she is left devastated.

Determined to move on from her first real heartbreak, Laila fortuitously receives word that she’s been accepted on a scholarship at New York University. While her father (Kuljeet Singh) thinks it’s too far away, Laila’s mother (Revathy) is determined that she do what she wants and she moves with her daughter to Greenwich Village.

Margarita-Header

Almost immediately Laila meets a hottie called Jared (William Moseley) who helps her in her creative writing course. At the same time she also meets young activist Khanum (Sayani Gupta), a blind girl of Pakistani-Bangladeshi descent. Enamored by Khanum’s passion and general badassery, as well as her attitude toward her own disability, she quickly falls in love and the two embark on a relationship. They also gladly take on caring duties for one another.

While Khanum seems cool with who she is, Laila finds it much harder to be free as the daughter of a very traditional mother. One who freaks out when she accidentally discovers Laila has been watching porn.

Laila is further confused when she doesn’t just stop being attracted to boys (especially Jared) and things become even more complicated when she has sex with him, something she immediately regrets. Not telling Khanum, the two return to Delhi together for Winter break to stay with Laila’s family. Shubhangini (Mum) still has no inkling of the true nature of their relationship and when Laila tries to broach the topic of her bi-sexuality with her, it backfires.

Will she muster the necessary courage to come out to her parents and find peace in who she is? And will she mess it up with Khanum?

margarita with a straw kalki koechlin

Unfortunately, the family are forced to come to terms with a situation far larger than any of them and this momentarily puts all their differences aside. There are some really touching moments in this movie, not least the ending where Laila takes herself out on a fancy date.

The central performance is amazing and Keochlin plays Laila very well but I was kind of disappointed to find out that she wasn’t really disabled. I’m not sure if this is the right reaction but for a moment there I got excited about true representation of disability on the big screen. When you think about this it’s no different to Daniel Day-Lewis starring in My Left Foot but I hoped we’d moved on a bit by now.

Laila is lovely and joyful though and it does have a very positive attitude. The film is not about disability really, it’s about a woman owning her sexuality, coming of age and gaining independence, and she just so happens to be disabled. I love that.

My Rating

3/5.

What did Jill make of this one? Would she lock it in the closet or help it to fly free? Find out here.

Duck Butter (Film) Review

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am really not a fan of ‘the disintegration of a relationship’ movies – or Doom Coms™?

This probably says an awful lot about me, that I can’t handle the truth, but there it is. Blue Valentine had me cringing and praying for it to end and there have been many films of the same ilk since. Duck Butter falls into this camp as far as I’m concerned and now I feel like I need my mummy and a big cuddle.

*Spoilers*

Duck Butter (2018)

IMDB Synopsis

Two women, who are dissatisfied with the dishonesty they see in dating and relationships, decide to make a pact to spend 24 hours together hoping to find a new way to create intimacy.

My Review

Alia Shawkat is one of my favourite actresses at the moment so it is truly a joy to see her face whenever and wherever it pops up. In Duck Butter, as actress Naima, she meets the soulful (?) Sergio (Laia Costa) in a club and the two quickly hit it off. Somewhere during this evening together the two discuss spending the next 24 hours together, the plan being to shag every hour on the hour in order to create a super intense intimacy. Phew.

Initially, Naima backtracks a little because she’s just taken a new job making a film with The Duplass Brothers and this upsets Sergio.

Side note: the whole film within a film, Naima working with Mark and Jay who are playing themselves thing is so fucking meta that it actually hurts a little bit.

But when she is fired for ‘creative differences’, she persuades Sergio to pick up where they left off – and so begins 24 hours in the life of Naima and Sergio.

Well, there’s not all that much to say other than it starts hot, heavy and sexy, and then the ugly aspects of each of the characters begin to show and the love slowly but surely dies. Perhaps a relationship doesn’t need so much fucking examination all the time?

Naima is obviously still stinging from her professional rejection, while Sergio has a complicated relationship with her mother. Both women are creatives and this lends itself to a passionate and fiery joint temperament. Honestly, I must cop to not really remembering much of the nuance, this is more like a walking nightmare. By the end credits I felt as though I’d gone through my own breakup and I felt sad and battered.

maxresdefault

Both performances are hyper real and it is easy to forget you’re not peeping in on an authentic relationship. Neither are that likable either with needy traits (that lord knows I have when I’m in the midst of a anxiety attack). I think it’s sometimes hard to watch because the viewer will see so many aspects of themselves mirrored back at them. At least that’s how I see it.

There are plenty of awkward moments including a very forced orgy instigated by Naima to mark the end of the relationship Sergio doesn’t seem to want to end. Honestly, I was keen for the end credits to roll – and it was a beautiful release when they did.

I can’t say the performances were bad and aesthetically it’s a hipster’s dream, it just didn’t have the something I expected. I felt no true sympathy for anyone and also, how cheated are we that we only get Mae Whitman for a few measly scenes? It’s a total liberty.

While reading up on this I did find out that this was originally written about a hetero couple. Apparently, the extended sex scenes made Alia and her male co-star uncomfortable so it was rewritten for two women – thank god for small mercies, eh?

My Rating

2.5/5.

What does my love think of this one? Would she last 24 hours with it or would she kick it to the kerb within 90 minutes? Find out here.

The Firefly (Film) Review

Jill and I settled on Gay July because we’ve always had pretty good success with LGBTQIA films within the collab – and there are some great ones on Netflix at the moment. So let’s kick back with this Colombian love story, shall we?

*Spoilers*

The Firefly (2013) or La luciérnaga (original title)

IMDB Synopsis

After the sudden death of her estranged brother, Lucia accidentally meets his fiancée and falls in love with her.

My Review

Lucia (Carolina Guerra) is estranged from her brother Andres (Manuel José Chaves) because he failed to attend his own father’s funeral. There’s A LOT of family turmoil going on since he also believes he killed their mother (she died giving birth to him). As a result, the siblings have not seen each other for three years and Lucia is unaware that her brother is marrying Mariana (Olga Segura).

On the day of the wedding Lucia has no knowledge of, Andres decides he can’t go through it without her and jumps in the car to go and get her. On the way he is killed in an accident and neither marries the love of his life, nor reconciles with his willful sister.

On learning of Andres’ accident, both women are devastated. Mariana flees the wedding in her dress and collapses in the middle of a busy intersection, while Lucia takes to her bed and is unresponsive for days afterward. Her husband Adrian (Andrés Aranburo) is present to a point but he doesn’t seem particularly sympathetic.

The beginning of the film tells us that Lucia is going to break up with him anyway so he’s already marked as surplus to requirements, so don’t worry. Mariana tells her family she is going to Mexico and holes up in Andres’ apartment – which is fortuitous as Lucia has the same idea. The women meet here for the first time. YAY!

The movie comprises a heap of flashbacks to build a picture of Andres’ past relationship with his sister, up until the point they fall out, and how he met and fell in love with Mariana. Which is happy/sad to behold, particularly when Andres ruminates the loss of his sister to Mariana.

Healing is painful but together they are able to take the time they need to start the process. This involves drunken dance parties and Lucia writing a letter to Andres seeking his forgiveness. Mariana then makes her burn it. They also visit the graveside.

Little by little the bond the women share begins to turn into something stronger and it’s bloody amazing. Mariana is surprised when she learns that Lucia is married because she’s never thought to mention it. Neither did she mention the fact that she can’t get pregnant despite their many attempts to do so.

When Lucia tells Mariana her relationship status is complicated, she cryptically asks her: isn’t life too short for that? You’re damn right, M – it bloody well is. This rhetoric is further bolstered when Adrian fucks off on a business trip right in the middle of Lucia’s grieving process and she realises it’s over.

MV5BNTI2MTE0NDQtNzc5MC00NDZmLTlmYTktYTk5MGZlYTYyZDQ1L2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjI0OTczMjc@._V1_SX1777_CR0,0,1777,888_AL_

M asks her to move into Andres’ apartment but Lucia suggests a mini break instead. Well, that trip changes everything forever but again it isn’t plain sailing because Lucia is seriously confused. Which you can kind of understand.

Will she follow her heart and take all this as meant to be? And why is Mariana throwing up all the time? Hmmmmm.

My Thoughts

The Firefly is lovely but man is it melodramatic. There are times it plays out like a telenovela – my God, ladies CHILL. Mariana’s Miss Haversham-esque few days swanning around in her wedding dress may be understandable, but it’s a bit over-dramatic. And there aren’t really any surprises here, the tale plays out by numbers. I’m not necessarily criticising it for that, it’s just an observation.

What I do criticise is the fact that Andres’ best friend knew he’d gone to find his sister on his wedding day and as far as I can tell, never tells her. You’d think that would be kind of a big deal to hear, non?

The strength of this film, as with any love story, lies in the chemistry between our leads. The hand holding and the loaded looks, the pool kisses and the fun they have together is lovely to witness – and it doesn’t help that both women are warm and so bloody beautiful. So, sure it’s a little bit all over the place but its heart is in the right place – it’s a good take on grieving and growing, of loving again as though you’ve never been hurt and of grabbing those fresh starts when you can. I’m all for that.

The Firefly 5
“I know you’re sad, but we need to talk about that horrible cardigan…”

What does the Queen of my Heart think of this one? Would she buy it dubious knitwear or leave it by the side of the road in the rain? Find out here.

Let’s Talk About Sex

Write about your first sexual experience (via Writing Exercises)

My first sexual encounter wasn’t all that but, as is often the way, I have been left with a great story to add to my box of memories which sees itself rolled out when the vodka is flowing and the tone has been lowered.

Something you might not know about me: I love talking about sex.

People can be very prissy about it but it’s only natural, right? I don’t think I’m a lewd girl without class but I enjoy penis talk and a girthy range of other saucy topics. So sue me.

Like Salt n’ Pepa once said “Let’s tell it how it is, and how it could be. How it was, and of course, how it should be” (Let’s Talk About Sex, 1991)

I was a late bloomer. Not for political reasons. I was just terrified of the idea of ‘doing it’ and the male form, and crippled by my own inadequacies as a ‘woman’. My classmates were happily sowing their oats and taking the piss out of all of us Virgins, pondering whether we might actually be ‘lezzas’ and making us all terrified to even glance in the general direction of someone of the same sex.

For about twenty minutes I sat and thought about whether I actually might be into girls but I figured in the end that my fascination with the more exotic of my species was down to the comfort in which they strode about in their own skin. I liked boys anyway and wanted one for myself, if I could only muster the courage to touch one.

I was eighteen when I finally got to the stage where I thought I could shrug off the taboo of still being chaste. By then my friend Lucy and I were going up to London every weekend and going to clubs, being bad girls. We met some boys (I say boys but my boy was 24) and started to spend time with them, sometimes sharing their spare room if we missed the last train home, which we always did.

Through these boys I met Marvin. He was quite the alluring prospect with his tight dreadlocks and beautiful dark skin. I wasn’t all that romantically inclined but he liked me, smelt nice and hey, if it all went wrong I didn’t have to see him again. Tactics, my friends even at that young age.

We arranged to meet and by chance, Lucy had also lined up a date for the night, so we booked into a B&B in South London. We went for drinks then went our separate ways, Lucy to the boudoir with the boy she’d met in the Wimpy, me with Marvellous Marvin.

I lied about my experience, scoffing convincingly when questioned about whether I had had sex before. This perhaps worked against me in the end, since he took no prisoners if you know what I mean.

When the deed was done (hours later), he got up, told me he had to go back to his girlfriend and asked me for cab fare. With a smile that may or may not have contained a gold tooth, he was gone.

I wasn’t even mad. He’d served his purpose and when he asked to see me two weekends later, I ignored the message. All I really remember now of that event is the morning after, walking to the tube with an ache where you’d expect an ache to be after being thrown around all night like a rag doll. It felt like adulthood.

I didn’t have it off again until two years later, and that time I got my little heart shattered.

But that’s another story.