Mubarakan, or: Films So Long You Need to Take a Nap Half-Way Through

DISCLAIMER: This is a light-hearted film review and not intended to defame, discredit or hurt the sentiments of any character, action, religion, profession or community. Also, if I get any of the plot mixed up it’s because A LOT happens, okay?

We’re trying something new this August: Bollywood movies. Let’s just say it’s going to be a very vibrant, dramatic and deliciously choreographed Summer round these parts. Join us?

Join Karan and Charan in a very crazy yet chaotic marriage of the year.

Anil KapoorArjun KapoorIleana D’Cruz

Director: Anees Bazmee • Year: 2017
IMDB Rating: 5.6/10 • My Rating: 3/5

My Review

Charanveer and Karanveer Singh (Arjun Kapoor) are identical twins who, following the tragic accidental death of their parents, find themselves separated at birth. Charan is sent to Punjab to be brought up by his proud uncle Baljeet (Pavan Malhotra), while Karan is raised by his aunt Jeeto (Ratna Pathak Shah) in London.

The boys know each other as cousins – or so I thought – but when we meet them as adults they seem very much aware that they are brothers. I guess when your face is the exact replica of your cousin’s it raises a few questions. In between Jeeto and Baljeet stands younger brother Kartar (Anil Kapoor) who also lives in London on an estate he calls “mini Punjab” with his white, English butler (and PA?).

Charan is a mild-mannered, religious boy who wouldn’t say boo to a goose and certainly not to his old man. Karan is slicker than your average and has an eye for fit ladies, much to the chagrin of his feisty girlfriend Sweety (D’Cruz). He doesn’t mean any harm though and does love her, even though they bicker all the time.

Things get messed up when Sweety inadvertently insults Jeeto in a shopping centre. Although Jeeto despises her on sight, she doesn’t twig that Sweety is Karan’s girlfriend and Karan does nothing to correct the situation. And he certainly can’t bring himself to tell his aunt that this is the woman he wants to marry.

When Jeeto and her husband engineer a marriage for Karan to great catch Binkle (Athiya Shetty), he is forced to talk his way out of proceedings by convincing his uncle that he wants to focus on his career – launching a chain of restaurants.

In his place he offers up Charan as Binkle’s would-be groom. Which sorts everything, right?

WRONG. Charan also has a girlfriend. Like Sweety, Nafisa (Neha Sharma) is a firecracker too, a lawyer who’s sick of Charan’s shit because he doesn’t have the kahonnies to tell his family about her. The issue is that she’s Muslim and his father/uncle is very against that. Not even exclusively, he’s down on any religion that doesn’t match his. And Charan is nothing if not a yes-man.

So, Charan is shipped to London to meet Binkle and her family, including father Sandhu (Rahul Dev) and her brother Munpreet (Karan Kundrra). He doesn’t even mention it to Nafisa until he’s landed and only then because she asks him what he’s up to. Reluctant to be married off, Charan has already called on his uncle Kartar to help him sabotage the meeting. Inventive as anything, Kartar convinces Charan to pretend to be a druggie.

But when Charan claps eyes on Binkle, something changes. She’s flipping stunning, gentle and perfect – and a very wholesome spark is ignited. Yey! Except, the drug plan falls into place despite Charan’s attempt to abort the mission and Sandhu insults Baljeet, claiming he’ll never let his family connect with the likes of theirs.

Phew! That’s only about a quarter of the film. To make amends to Sandhu, to whom they owe a great gratitude, Jeeto and her family offer Karan to Binkle instead. Which is kind of awks. In response, Sweety is presented as a wifely option for Charan – all the while Jeeto still bears a massive grudge toward her but at least she isn’t marrying her son/nephew. Still with me?

I can’t remember what the final straw is but there’s discord between brother and sister – and Jeeto and Baljeet become estranged. In defiance against his sister, Baljeet (who BTW is very handsome) makes a vow that he doesn’t need her help to marry off Karan and that he’ll have him spliced on the 25th of the next month.

Hence the Sweety match.

Kartar, torn between his siblings, manages to get them both to agree to have the weddings in London and on the same day.

MEANWHILE… Nafisa is fuming and ends up coming to London too, there are chance meetings, arguments and most importantly there is love and incredible dance numbers that rarely make sense. My favourite song is unquestionably Take Your Lovely Goggles Off.

When Nafisa falls for Binkle’s brother Munpreet, everything almost slots perfectly into place. Binkle has Charan, Sweety loves Karan – and Nafisa has snared Munpreet. If only the twins had the bottle to just admit what they want and stand up to their families!

Well, wedding day comes around and I’m woman enough to admit that, when Kartar is forced to make a heartwarming speech to bring his brother and sister back together, I cried. For a super goofy, melodramatic slice of solid gold Rom Com, it got me.

My Comments

There is absolutely no good reason for this to be two and a half hours long though. I had to have a nap 90 minutes in. There is so much to-ing and fro-ing that I got lost a lot. I’m not even sure this review is fully accurate.

I did find myself getting frustrated a lot with all the secrecy and the boys’ reluctance to stick up for themselves – and there’s also a fair amount of waiting around for God to make things happen. But I’m not from a devout Indian family. Kartar’s speech filled in a lot of blanks for me about fear of being thrown out of the family.

Some of the acting seems deliberately hammy, everyone is very aesthetically pleasing (looking at you again, Uncle Baljeet) and the colour is wonderful. It’s very fun and as my first full length Bollywood movie experience, I’m very much excited for the next one.

Netflix seems to have an array of incredibly interesting looking Indian movies at the moment and I’m already trying to work out if Hisss technically counts as a Bollywood movie for my next pick.

What does my Technicolor angel think of this Bollywood fever dream? Would she rope in into a flash mob in the middle of Picadilly or reject its marriage proposal cold? Find out here.

Margarita with a Straw (Film) Review

An Indian coming-of-age tale this week and it’s a pretty nice one really. Certainly more joyful than the fucking miserable Duck Butter from last week. Thank God because I was not down for that much introspection again, not for a while anyway.

*Spoilers*

Margarita with a Straw (2014)

IMDB Synopsis

A rebellious young woman with cerebral palsy leaves her home in India to study in New York, unexpectedly falls in love, and embarks on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery.

My Review

Laila (Kalki Koechlin) is a rebellious songwriting teen who attends Delhi University. She also happens to have Cerebral Palsy. She writes music for an indie band which results in her falling in love with the lead singer. Unfortunately, when he doesn’t feel the same way about her, she is left devastated.

Determined to move on from her first real heartbreak, Laila fortuitously receives word that she’s been accepted on a scholarship at New York University. While her father (Kuljeet Singh) thinks it’s too far away, Laila’s mother (Revathy) is determined that she do what she wants and she moves with her daughter to Greenwich Village.

Margarita-Header

Almost immediately Laila meets a hottie called Jared (William Moseley) who helps her in her creative writing course. At the same time she also meets young activist Khanum (Sayani Gupta), a blind girl of Pakistani-Bangladeshi descent. Enamored by Khanum’s passion and general badassery, as well as her attitude toward her own disability, she quickly falls in love and the two embark on a relationship. They also gladly take on caring duties for one another.

While Khanum seems cool with who she is, Laila finds it much harder to be free as the daughter of a very traditional mother. One who freaks out when she accidentally discovers Laila has been watching porn.

Laila is further confused when she doesn’t just stop being attracted to boys (especially Jared) and things become even more complicated when she has sex with him, something she immediately regrets. Not telling Khanum, the two return to Delhi together for Winter break to stay with Laila’s family. Shubhangini (Mum) still has no inkling of the true nature of their relationship and when Laila tries to broach the topic of her bi-sexuality with her, it backfires.

Will she muster the necessary courage to come out to her parents and find peace in who she is? And will she mess it up with Khanum?

margarita with a straw kalki koechlin

Unfortunately, the family are forced to come to terms with a situation far larger than any of them and this momentarily puts all their differences aside. There are some really touching moments in this movie, not least the ending where Laila takes herself out on a fancy date.

The central performance is amazing and Keochlin plays Laila very well but I was kind of disappointed to find out that she wasn’t really disabled. I’m not sure if this is the right reaction but for a moment there I got excited about true representation of disability on the big screen. When you think about this it’s no different to Daniel Day-Lewis starring in My Left Foot but I hoped we’d moved on a bit by now.

Laila is lovely and joyful though and it does have a very positive attitude. The film is not about disability really, it’s about a woman owning her sexuality, coming of age and gaining independence, and she just so happens to be disabled. I love that.

My Rating

3/5.

What did Jill make of this one? Would she lock it in the closet or help it to fly free? Find out here.