Tag Archives: Dreams

Sunday’s Girl

tumblr_nw0zyxupmA1stuelto1_1280

TBH I just love this image

This morning my rut took me out of the flat and walking round the park, talking to my friend Lauren on the phone for over an hour.

Honestly, following the pettiest fight in the history of all fights with the man I married, I was looking to lick my wounds in Superdrug. A basic bitch go fuck yourself to the ‘man’, you know how it goes.

A couple of lipsticks and a contour kit later and I was over my rage and ready to go home.

Time to work on the little by little life plan, huh?

Lozza, on the phone, was talking about sorting out her life and I’m there too, ready to make some minor tweaks to make life a bit more exciting.

Expect to hear more about this. Hell, I’ll take suggestions if they’re good ones, truly.

My first thing is to take myself out more. Me dates. I love that feeling of gently meandering around, processing thoughts, dreaming.

I need to get myself out more on Sundays, that’s for sure. Even if it’s just a walk in the park.

Night Terrors

Inexpressible-night-terrors-copy

Mummy…?

When you want to post but it’s a slow news week.

Let’s list all the things that keep me awake at night, rendering me a tired and anxious mess by 7am, shall we?

  • Work stuff, usually something I can’t control/is nothing to do with me
  • Taxes
  • Have I been rude to someone? (Not including the over-enthusiastic girl in the co-op who just annoys me so much so I can’t help being really grumpy toward her – my guilty secret.)
  • The annoying, over-enthusiastic girl in the co-op
  • Whether or not to cut my hair
  • Am I having a stroke?
  • Why did I WebMD that pain in my arm?
  • Everybody hates me
  • Why wasn’t I invited to that party?
  • Why don’t I have a ‘squad’?
  • What was that noise?
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman
  • Seriously, what was that noise?
  • Am I a good friend?
  • Does Jay Z really love Beyoncé?
  • Why are Twiglets so fucking good but so mucky to eat?
  • Money or lack thereof
  • But Mum said being poor could be a good thing?
  • Can it be a good thing?
  • But I like stuff!
  • Goodreads 2015 Reading Challenge and being 2 books behind schedule…
  • Great White Sharks

To name but a short list of an ever undulating list of worries.

Anyone else?

Ten What Ifs and a Masterplan

tumblr_nhoq4jEvDx1rizv5ro1_1280

I woke up like this

Imagine this crazy idea:

What if from this moment on I rejected fear?

What if I heard my own voice echoed back to me as I talked and thought, yeah she knows what she’s about. And so, I started talking louder and without hesitation.

What if I trusted my own opinions and when presenting them I thought, this is an amazing idea, who wouldn’t be into it?

What if I didn’t worry so much about who liked me and thought not, I wonder if she likes me instead, Do I like her?

What if I caught a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface and thought, she looks good. And so, I held my head higher?

What if I forgot to refer to myself as the fat one, the old one; THE FRUMPY ONE, and believed I was just as precious as every one of my friends?

What if I stopped wondering, am I’m pretty or ugly, instead I realised my worth regardless of the answer?

And what if, when someone complimented I didn’t counter it with an argument; instead I just said, simply, thank you?

What if I stopped talking about my dreams and picked one to follow; stopped planning to write and just wrote?

What if I stopped thinking, what if and lived my life instead?

What a crazy world that would be.