Tag Archives: Comedy

Little

She woke up like This.

Little (2019)

A woman is transformed into her younger self at a point in her life when the pressures of adulthood become too much to bear.

Starring: Regina Hall • Issa Rae • Marsai Martin

*Minor spoilers*

2509_D009_00195_00197RV3_COMP

Blessed image

A modern day, female-centric Big? You got me. This is a fun concept and it stars Insecure’s creator Issa Rae – what else do I need?

Sure it doesn’t have any real surprises but it does also have Regina Hill as ‘big’ Jordan Sanders running around being a complete bitch. It’s horrible obviously but also comedy gold.

When she pisses off the wrong person, Jordan finds herself cut down to size. Literally. Waking up the morning after as her pre-teen self, she is forced to bring reluctant assistant April Williams (Rae) in on the tee – that she’s half the woman she was the day before (in stature anyway).

tmp_40YxHn_c8a44e23bfa6ef36_MCDLITT_EC018

“One Venti cup of steaming bitch juice. STAT.”

Through a comedy of errors, Jordan finds herself back in school and April running Jordan’s high-flying company, which is at risk of going under if they can’t impress their biggest client with a new product. What japes!

Well, you can already guess how this will pan out but sometimes there is comfort in that and I did find it funny. Little is written and directed by Tina Gordon, a WOC and you can tell. While she hasn’t done masses yet, I am looking forward to seeing more from her.

Meanwhile, Issa Rae is a dream to watch on the screen, and both her and Hall are actresses I want to see way more in film and TV. Hall’s mega bitch Jordan is deliciously bad, having formed this persona after high school to ensure she never gets bullied again.

Bag ladies but in like, the best way

Special shout out to the true star of the film, little Jordan Sanders (Marsai Martin) who knocks her part out of the ballpark. She’s all sass and rocks her scenes, particularly in the classroom (her flirt-fest with her highly reluctant teacher – played by Justin Hartley – is a scream). And she’s never better than when she’s sticking up for her underdog new friends – who are also totally adorable.

This is a film about black girl magic, female friendship – and opening yourself up to the best things in life, like well, magic and female friendship.

And I appreciate it for that.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What are you watching?

Hellboy

Demons Have Demons Too.

Hellboy (2019)

Based on the graphic novels by Mike Mignola, Hellboy, caught between the worlds of the supernatural and human, battles an ancient sorceress bent on revenge.

Starring: David Harbour • Milla Jovovich • Ian McShane • Sasha Lane

*Minor spoilers*

Hellboy-Still-6

“Who are you calling ‘Helmet’?”

Who are you calling a monster, pal? Have you looked in the mirror recently? ~ Hellboy

This movie has received a lot of negative reviews. Milla Jovovich herself was asked what she thought of all the bad press and she responded that it will be a cult classic instead – and fuck the box office (to paraphrase). Which is possibly the best answer ever.

Having now seen it for myself, I can safely say… I completely agree with her.

Nobody is more surprised than me to learn that I loved this. I adored del Toro‘s HB movies more than cocoa puffs. BUT – I had a high old time with the new Hellboy (though admittedly it took me a moment). David Harbour might not have been my first choice to fill Ron Perlman‘s boots but I’m glad he’s here now.

The addition of psychic conduit Sasha Lane to the cast – as well as a fine turn (as always) from Ian McShane and a little help from a wild and wonderful new friend – and this does have the makings of a film you’d revisit again and again. Screw the people who didn’t like it.

milla-jovovich-blood-queen-in-hellboy-2019-p3

Yaaaaaas (Blood) Kween

Directed by Dog Soldiers’ Neil Marshall, it is extremely gory – with limbs flying and eyeballs exploding left and right. It is bloody for the sake of being bloody in places – and I am down for that.

Sure, some of the dialogue is utterly laughable but in that 90’s action movie way, particularly the one liners. In fact, most of the things this movie has been criticised for are the things I loved about it. It’s fun. It doesn’t take itself too seriously.

There’s a wonderful and grotesque segment inside Baba Yaga’s walking house which I adored – and the story itself, while stupid in place, is firmly grounded in old English folklore so what’s not to like.

Jovovich plays it pretty straight as super villainess Numue the Blood Queen but has a comedic sidekick in the form of pig faced Gruagach (voiced by Stephen Graham). And while we failed to stay for the post-credit scenes (rookies), this does climax with a hint to what could follow in the Hellboy universe and I’m there with bells on.

Yeah, I probably would

Glynn and I were pretty much the only two people in the cinema enjoying ourselves but I’m not mad about being in the minority – come see me when this is the ultimate cult classic in 25 years time and I’ll tell you – I told you so.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What are you watching?

Shazam!

Shazam! (2019)

We all have a superhero inside us, it just takes a bit of magic to bring it out. In Billy Batson’s case, by shouting out one word – SHAZAM! – this streetwise fourteen-year-old foster kid can turn into the adult superhero Shazam.

Starring: Zachary Levi • Djimon Hounsou • Mark Strong

*Minor spoilers*

Sure, Shazam! is a little less dark than your average comic book movie but it has its moments. We went with Beau at the weekend and we all left with a smile on our faces – so yes, good clean family fun all round.

Billy (Asher Angel) is a fourteen-year-old tearaway with one objective – to find his birth mother. Running away from every foster home he’s ever had, all he cares about is reuniting with the woman who lost him when he was a little boy.

It’s all about faaaaaaamily

When Billy takes this quest one step too far, he’s placed by his exasperated social worker into a new home with foster parents Victor (Cooper Andrews) and Rosa Vasquez (Marta Milans). This is his last chance saloon but to say he’s thrilled by the arrangement would be a damn lie.

His eye is still on the prize and he’s not there to make friends, despite the efforts of his new foster siblings; Freddy, Mary, Darla, Eugene and Pedro.

When he accidentally meets The Wizard Shazam (Djimon Hounsou) – there’s a whole convoluted intro to the wizard which I’m leaving to you, the viewer – he inherits crazy powers and begins his journey toward hero-dom.

For, when Billy says the magic word – it escapes me now – he becomes the very adult Shazam (Zachary Levi).

Capes are out, didn’t anyone tell you?

With the help of new friend/bro Freddy (Jack Dylan Grazer), Billy begins to figure out his new super skills. But with bitter super-villain Dr. Thaddeus Silvana (Mark Strong) on his tail and after the powers for himself – he’s going to need more than just lightning fingers to keep the city safe.

The message here is a sweet enough and it’s actually quite upsetting when Billy (as himself) finally meets his mum. I know I cry at everything but I did get a lump in my throat. Billy just wants what we all want: love and acceptance.

One of these things is not like the others

The Vasquez’s are heavenly with a wholesome but firm parenting style – and the kids aren’t annoying at all, not even once. The more I think of this silly film the more I realise I really enjoyed it. I’m glad I went and I definitely would have avoided it had my step-son not wanted to go.

The effects are great – the seven deadly sins are brilliant – the ‘training’ montages are a scream and Mark Strong makes a fine villain.

I’m looking forward to the sequel which is rumoured to be starring Dwayne Johnson. Bring it.

Just kiss already

⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What are you watching?

Unicorn Store

Unicorn Store (2017)

A woman named Kit receives a mysterious invitation that would fulfill her childhood dreams.

Starring: Brie Larson • Samuel L. Jackson • Joan Cusack

*Minor spoilers*

A real quickie on Brie Larson‘s directorial debut, which appeared on Netflix this weekend. Reuniting Samuel. L with his Captain Marvel co-star, Unicorn Store is as whimsical and abstract as they come.

Kit (Larson) is a woman-child not doing so great. Failing at art school (at least in the eyes of her beloved professor), she finds herself back home, living in her parents’ basement. Her parents are well-meaning enough (played by blog favourite Joan Cusack, and Bradley Whitford) but are distracted by their new pet project and employee, Kevin (Karan Soni).

Adopt me please, Joan

Channel-hopping one day, Kit stumbles across an ad for a temp agency and decides to join the rat race as a new and improved version of herself. One who dresses appropriately for the office and drinks coffee.

Kit does pretty okay at her new assignment, particularly when her quirky nature catches the attention of her (creepy) boss – but her focus soon shifts onto more magical things when she receives a series of mysterious invitations to a secret location.

Someone didn’t get the memo about Wednesdays

At The Store, Kit meets The Salesman (Jackson) who puts her through a series of tasks to prove she’s ready for the ultimate challenge – to care for a real life unicorn. Yep, I told you it was whimsical.

Kit, you see, has been dreaming of this since she was a child and there’s practically nobody else more qualified for the role. Still she has to prove she can keep it fed and surrounded by all the love she can, which means making sure her relationship with her family is in tip top condition.

When she hires Virgil (Mamoudou Athie) to help her build a unicorn stable, it seems like she might be opening herself up for a different kind of connection but how’s he going to take news of the unicorn?

Virg(il)ing on the ridiculous

While this is sweet enough and I did appreciate it, it’s perhaps just a little bit too cutesy for me. I stan Brie Larson so I was on board with the character of Kit – and I do appreciate a surrealist indie. I really enjoyed Virgil too, a somewhat reluctant partner-in-crime who soon gives himself over to the concept of adventure.

Larson’s increasingly flamboyant wardrobe definitely deserves a mention as does Kit’s assistant Sabrina (Martha MacIsaac), who harbors her own dream – to open an Etsy store selling jewellery shaped like miniature food.

Will Kit get her unicorn – or is all an elaborate con?

US is abstract but really it’s about putting away childish things and accepting adulthood – while still keeping just a little bit of magic back. Which is a cool message and one I personally endorse.

⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What are you watching?

The Polka King

Jill and I feel we didn’t cover douche-y men enough last week. God knows those middle-aged white boys need as much attention as possible or else they’ll just fade away – and we can’t have that.

So here we are in True Story land, learning what we can about the real life Polka King and his nefarious ways.

Keeping is saxxy

The Polka King (2017)

Local Pennsylvania polka legend Jan Lewan develops a plan to get rich that shocks his fans and lands him in jail.

Starring: Jack Black • Jenny Slate • Jason Schwartzman

*Minor spoilers*

Jan Lewan (Jack Black) fronts a popular local Polka band in Pennsylvania. Happily married to former-beauty queen Marla (Jenny Slate), he is something of an entrepreneur who also runs his own gift shop.

Things are looking good for the band, so much so that when Jan decides to add a dancing bear (not a real one) to the act, his clarinetist Mickey (Jason Schwartzman) decides to quit. Jan, ever the charmer, is able to talk Mickey round and promises there are good times on the horizon.

Sadly, he’s not quite as skillful in sweet-talking his mother-in-law Barb (Jacki Weaver), who’s constantly gunning for him and his life choices. (And is the best character in the film).

*Clink clink* bitches

When Jan is approached by an elderly couple who wish to invest in the band’s future, he takes their money without much persuasion. He then accepts thousands in further deposits, promising mammoth returns to his investors. Alas, the state authorities soon get wind of this scheme and tell him in no uncertain terms that what he’s doing is highly illegal. He’s given three days to pay back the cash and forget the whole crazy idea.

Which of course he does immediately and the film ends there.

NOT.

Instead he tells the state investigator that he’s quit – and promptly sets up a new scam. Meanwhile, business just keeps getting better and better for the Lewans as Jan starts a travel business giving European tours.

He manages to secure a private audience for his vacationers with the Pope – much to his own surprise – but Mickey begins to see the strings when he realises quite a lot of what Jan says is made up. Jan again keeps him on side by agreeing to let him change his name to “Mickey Pizzazz”.

You better WERK, Marla

Jan then gets the idea that getting Marla back on the pageant scene will be great for business – and even though she does a mediocre job, surprisingly she walks away with the trophy.

When it becomes clear that something about her success is amiss, the whole operation comes tumbling down around Jan’s ears. His investors no longer trust him and don’t want to be part of the ensuing scandal surrounding the couple.

Then the truth about his criminal activity gets out and there’s only one place for Jan to go now… and it’s not back to the Vatican.

“What did you just say about my braces?”

I found this film really boring. I didn’t care about Jan or even about the people he was conning. Jan has no remorse about what he’s done and even though I think for the most part his victims are just highly naive, his pride in being a part of the American Dream is irritating. We could all be as successful if we were willing to rip off old ladies. Still I guess you could argue it’s his charisma, nerve and talent that got him there in the first place. Hmm.

Jenny Slate is someone who never fails to impress in my eyes but she’s not given much to work with. Only Barb really does it for me as she focuses on proving that Jan is the wrong ‘un she’s always thought he was.

There’s nothing wrong with the performances or the story, it just failed to get me interested. Still, at least it’s not Peppermint (which is 2019’s Blog Collab mantra).

⭐⭐out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What does my girl think of this one? Would she give it all her savings or report it to the law? Find out here.

Fleabag

*Minor spoilers*

Woooooo, Fleabag is back for a second series and I’m absolutely delighted! Written and starring the amazing Phoebe Waller-Bridge – the complex titular character Fleabag returns with new issues including a mammoth crush on a priest (Andrew Scott). Which is super hot, I won’t lie.

Fleabag is brilliant because it’s touching, relate-able (remember when I had my own crush on a priest? LOL) and devastating. Examining grief, guilt – the feeling of being completely inadequate – lust – it covers all angles. Even the constant breaking of the fourth wall doesn’t put me off (but only just because in series two it gets really SMUG).

Fleabag’s sister Claire (Sian Clifford) is struggling with her own feelings of resentment towards Flea, following the events of series one (I won’t spoiler, you just need to watch it).

Hot Priests R Us

Claire’s also commuting to and from Finland and dealing with pregnancy/relationship issues of her own. The best bits in many ways are the scenes between the sisters because they’re so bitchy and delicious. And there’s a hair emergency which had me screaming.

Flea also laments the current status of her friendship with Boo (Jenny Rainsford) which is very sad – and there’s a scene in which Flea ‘confesses’ to The Priest about how scared she feels all the time which realllly resonates with me. Olivia Colman is Godmother and soon-to-be Stepmother to the girls and she’s such a glorious bitch that all her scenes are the absolute best.

We’ve all been there…

My Sunday plans are to absolutely rinse the six-part series with copious amounts of tea and no regrets.

What are you watching?

The Dirt

April is now officially Biopics (or Based on a True Story) month, which I admit I only suggested so I could shoehorn in this movie this weekend. It’s been getting mixed reviews all over the shop so Lord knows what to expect. If nothing else at least it will be debauchery central up in here.

The Dirt (2019)

The story of how Mötley Crüe came to be one of the most notorious rock ‘n roll groups in history.

Starring: Douglas Booth • Iwan Rheon • Daniel Webber • Machine Gun Kelly

*Minor spoilers*

When a movie more or less begins with a female ejaculation scene (not portrayed nearly enough outside porn), you know you’re in for a ride. Whether it’s a good one or not is for you to decide for yourself though.

This is the rags-to-riches tale of how Mötley Crüe came to be pretty much the most rock n’ roll band ever to have lived (after S Club, obviously).

We begin with the metaphorical birth of Nicky Sixx (played as an adult by pretty boy Douglas Booth) – born into the world as Frank Carlton Serafino Feranna, Jr. Barely a teenager, sick of his mother and done with an endless parade of deadbeat step-dads, he frames her for assault and takes off on his own, stopping in only to officially change his name forever and burn Frank’s ID.

Sofa-hopping and just about getting by with his current band Sister, one night he meets a fan in the form of drummer Tommy Lee (Machine Gun Kelly). The pair soon form a new band (and friendship) – and recruit surly lead-guitarist Mick Mars (Iwan Rheon) and lead-singer Vince Neil (played superbly by Daniel Webber).

Beetlejuice’s new look was pretty well received

Tommy Lee – in contrast to Nicky – comes from a harmonious home, supported in his creative endeavours by happily married parents. This leads him on a quest to recreate their whirlwind magic for himself, which explains the multiple marriages in his history (no shade).

Mick meanwhile, is hiding a secret health condition which is slowing him down big time, while Vince is the charismatic front-man with the world (and all its babes) at his feet. As the band sign to a label and begin to take the world seriously by storm, their trouble really begins – and I can’t imagine being able to resist half the temptations afforded to them myself.

This scene is pants

In short drugs, booze and broads are the order of the day but at what cost? AT WHAT COST?!

You can kind of imagine most of it but key moments include the 1984 vehicular manslaughter of Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle (Max Milner) at the hands of a drunk driving Vince (and subsequent super lenient jail time), touring with Ozzy Osbourne (Tony Cavalero) and the near-death of Nicky Sixx by heroine overdose.

Tommy loses the love of his life Heather Locklear (Rebekah Graf) because he can’t keep his T-bone in the pantry – and Mick finally has hip surgery. There’s rehab, there are arguments and relapse – and there’s a life-altering event in Vince’s life that is even more prolific than the car accident.

The question is, after everything they’ve been through can our rockers pull it together and see it through to the end – or will they burn out like the brightest star?

That shit is bandanas

The Dirt is entertaining, I’ll give it that. I liked the brief time we spent with Ozzy who I think was cast really well. I know for a fact I was here for those infamous rock n’ roll shenanigans and watching him licking up his own piss and snorting ants was fucking disgusting but also the kind of wildness I expected.

However, while there are loads of sex and drug scenes, it didn’t go quite as far as I wanted. I *think* in some ways it’s because of the casting of the band. While Machine Gun Kelly is a pretty solid Tommy Lee, he makes the character seem almost wholesome. And Nicky is positively baby faced. I don’t buy them as seedy adults, I’m sorry.

I hardly know anything about the band apart from Tommy & Pammy’s sex tape – and the fact my horrible ex really fucking liked them – so maybe I’m wrong about that. There’s a chance they’re perfectly cast and I just don’t know it but honestly, I don’t think so.

Women do not get a good deal in this movie. They play either mothers or whores (sometimes both simultaneously) and that says a lot about the mindset of the group at the time. I suppose, even though I don’t like this one bit, it’s to be expected.

Always time for a cheeky Nando’s, even when you’re uber famous

I would have liked to know more about the crash if I’m honest and seen more evidence that it played on Vince Neil’s mind at all. From this portrayal it isn’t clear. However, I think he was played beautifully and I felt a lot when bad things happen to his family (even though wife and daughter are incredibly 2D).

I HATE the breaking of the fourth wall though, it’s so overused these days. The interruption every now and again to correct a so-called storyline fact is supposed to be cute but it’s just grating. So yeah, I had fun but that’s about it. It’s quite average really and that’s a shame considering the collection of true characters in the band.

⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What does my rock star think of this one? Is she ready to follow it around the globe in a halter neck or would she rather drop it from the label? Find out here, fuckers.