GAH. Something that the Netflix UK needs to rectify in time for December 2018 is the lack of Hallmark Christmas movies it has to offer. While Jill has suggested so many amazing sounding Festive cheese fests for this month’s theme, I’ve struggled to get most of the titles here.
Thankfully – or not – Christmas Inheritance was one of the easier to get my glitter encrusted mitts on and so here we are. You can almost guess the entire plot from the film’s title too which is strangely comforting, and exactly what you need from a Christmas film.
Christmas Inheritance (2017)
Before ambitious heiress Ellen Langford can inherit her father’s gift business, she must deliver a special Christmas card to her dad’s former partner in Snow Falls, the hometown she never knew.
Ellen Langford (Eliza Taylor) is a restless party girl with a douchey fiance who isn’t really interested in her and a fractious relationship with her dad. Mum passed on when she was younger and there’s something missing from her life. What on earth could that be, one wonders?
Those pine needles are going to be a bitch to remove
While Dad is incredibly wealthy thanks to his successful gift company, he worries about Ellen and her lack of grounding. So after she shows herself up at a business function (cartwheeling into the Christmas tree, that’s my girl), he engineers a little task for her. Go and hand deliver a letter to his business partner Zeke in small town Snow Falls, where the dream for their company first began.
Ellen is reluctant to take this trip because she’s a princess – and is determined to conclude business and return the big apple (and her life) as soon she possibly can. She’s a little bemused as to what she’s supposed to discover in Snow Falls, though her father is insistent that she will learn a lesson here.
Things get off to an awkward start when local business owner Jake (Obvious Child’s Jake Lacy) accidentally runs over Ellen’s suitcase. He drives her to the the only B&B in town which he also just happens to own – so their paths are destined to cross again, who knew?
Jake runs the B&B with his aunt Debbie (Andie “Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed” MacDowell) and it’s a quaint little place full to bursting with embroidered cushions. Debbie it turns out used to date Ellen’s pa before he met and fell in love with her late ma.
Oh yes, and Ellen has arrived incognito – nobody knows she’s the daughter of famous Snow Falls resident Jim Langford – they know her under an assumed name: Ellie London (or something lame like that). It’s through Debbie’s reminiscing about Mrs Langford that Ellie learns what a kind and decent woman her mother was.
“Not another fucking Christmas movie.”
Well, Snow Falls is a neat little town that thrives on Christmas Spirit and before long the community attitude starts to rub off on Ellie too. Uncle Zeke incidentally is nowhere to be found so while she waits around for him to show up, she’s left kicking her heels in town.
While beginning to enjoy her time, Ellie seems less absorbed in her own problems – and when a storm whips up, leaving lots of people stranded for the night, she mucks in just like everyone else, even agreeing to share her room with a young mother and her kid. At one point Ellie even goes and rounds up the town’s only homeless person and brings him back to the B&B where he’s welcomed with open arms (everyone is so freaking NICE, this town would drive me mad).
Jake starts to take note of Ellie after this, ‘cos everyone knows kindness = bangable. Jake, for the record, has been hurt by a previous love and is totes not interested in getting into another relationship ever again, much to Aunt Debbie’s dismay.
Meanwhile, Ellie has told Jake in a panic that she’s a baker but since she doesn’t know the back end of a mixing bowl from her own arse, Debbie soon works out that she isn’t what and who, she says she is. Ellie confides her true identity to Debbie and Debs agrees to teach her to bake so she can maintain the charade.
Elle’s Christmas card that year was pretty awks
And, as Ellie warms to this charming way of life and spends more time with Jake, looking at snow sculptures and doing charity work (probably), a spanner arrives in the form of her fiance, Gray (Michael Xavier). Gray is dismissive of Snow Falls culture, takes the piss out of the new improved Ellie and breaks a promise to keep her identity hidden. He also cock blocks Jake, who’s everything Gray is not (boring, pious).
Anyway, Ellie is changing and so is her attitude to other people and she outdoes herself when she organises a kick arse collection of local crafts for a Christmas fayre (or something, I lost interest). But Jake is taken aback by her lies and the fact she is engaged to be married – and it feels as though there can never be a happy ending for anybody.
Shall we all just go home? But lo! What light through yonder window breaks? Is that Ellie dumping her fiance and returning to Snow Falls under her own steam because suddenly she understands what all this has been about?
And does this also mean that Uncle Zeke and Mr Langford have found the perfect person to take over the mantel of their business, and drive it into a bright and exciting future?
I’d say slap this on, grab a cup of tea and a slice of Stollen – and let the good times roll. Christmas doesn’t have to be officially over until the 6th January (and then we all turn into pumpkins if we haven’t cleared away all evidence). So enjoy.
Look, there’s really no sense in critiquing this. It’s exactly as expected. The story line is predictable, the characters bland yet palatable. The scenery is cute and Gilmore-esque – and you can almost smell cinnamon emanating from the screen.
All in all this isn’t the worst I’ve seen this season. It’s pure Christmas comfort in 105 minutes.
2/5. It’s fine.
But what does my beautiful wifey make of this? Would she leave it out in the cold or welcome it in for cookies? Find out here.