Solo

One of the most important things in this life, as far as I’m concerned, is me time. It sounds cliché, especially when you frame it in that popular self-care meme kind of way but boy, is it true.

I get incredibly angsty if I don’t have at least an evening or weekend day a week to myself, doing whatever the fuck I fancy. I also strongly advocate solo dates because honestly, nobody gives good date like I do. My main jam is the cinema date for one.

You get to see what you want, sit where you want and eat what you want. You can do more than one movie and nobody moans about it. Sometimes, on very special days you can do a hat trick. I just love to spread myself out and lose myself in whatever is unfolding on screen.

That’s not to say I don’t bloody love going with my film buds, which I do all the time but the lone wolf viewing is something I do at least once a week if I can.

I struggle a lot being around too many people – and around people too much of the time – so I often have to excuse myself for a breather. Even if it’s just 30 minutes with my book or a long old soak in the tub. It wasn’t always this way, a lot of the time I was alone growing up, even when I first moved to Brighton wasn’t by choice. I had friends but I was in no way as outgoing as I am now. I was scared to go out a lot of the time – my social anxiety crippled me to the point I’d make myself ill. As a result I was a lonely person, alone a lot and not enjoying it the way I do now.

Thankfully a few things have changed in that department and I’m not sure how, I guess I stopped giving such a shit about socialising. I don’t worry as much about every little thing and I’m sure that’s a comfort that comes with age. Plus, I surround myself with people who understand me – if I’d done and my social battery is running low, they just accept it.

I think I’ve found the balance. Now I thrive on the peace and quiet of my own company but I also enjoy being out and about. Finding the right balance is the key to my optimum mental health – and I always feel it when I’ve been overdoing it. The quickest and easiest solution to that is to take myself to the movies. On Monday, I’ll be spending a few hours with Bruce. The shark from Jaws, that is.

What are your thoughts on going solo?

Drafts

I’ve got some annual leave this week. While I’ve made a few plans – dinner with a friend, cinema, tattoo on Thursday – let’s not pretend I’m not spending the majority of it on the sofa with The Handmaid’s Tale and various films, while my tea kettle works over time.

My intention is to also blog as much as I can because it’s one of the first things neglected when I’m busy or not feeling it.

While I was considering what on Earth to talk about, I landed on the idea of raiding my Drafts folder and running with some of those unfulfilled ideas, there are hundreds of them. Some are just one word titles too, like ‘Confidence’. Cryptic, huh?

I wonder what I was thinking when I made the effort of label that post, with no further comment? No matter, let’s see what I can do with them this week, shall we?

What does your week look like?

Catch Up

Remember when blogs were a form of journaling? When we’d write down what we’d done in that day or how we felt about certain things as if our online space was a fluffy pink lockable diary from the 80’s? (Nineties, 2000’s, whatever).

I feel like somewhere along the line I’ve lost what blogging means to me – even more so every person and their barista has an internet presence, be it a snarky Twitter feed or a mini-blog in the form of Instagram stories, is it even a thing anymore? As I type that I know that doesn’t matter at all, I’ve never had that much of a following and that’s completely fine – the interaction I’ve had via my blog has been meaningful and life-affirming in a way 10k likes could never be (I’m assuming).

I do this for myself first and I can’t imagine that ever-changing. But I do want to get back to a more passionate place. I love reviewing films, I love talking about books and TV I like too – but where are the feelings, where is the truth? So I’ll be exploring that in my posts moving on. Who knows where this will take me?

Anyway, a catch up, Dear Diary! My husband and I are currently on annual leave and I’ll be honest, I’m enjoying doing absolutely nothing. Films, Drag Race and reading in the bath, none of the spring cleaning I’d planned to do, none of the socialising I imagined myself doing (that part’s an out-and-out lie, sorry). It’s what we need right now and I’m not going to fight my desire to nest.

We also just got back from a few days in Amsterdam which was really lovely and chilled. We didn’t go as crazy as that city sometimes warrants but we wandered and ate and took a boat trip and looked at dicks in the sex museum and generally just hung out – it was perfect.

I didn’t partake in Amsterdam’s number one delicacy but I still enjoyed sitting outside the coffee shops, watching people. It’s such a cool city just to be in.

Today I’m catching up on blogging, both here and on my film blog, watching a few films for the podcast and I might do a Trixie Mattel inspired make up look, if I’m feeling it. I’m absolutely loving the freedom to chill out in my pants and do what I like. Tomorrow we’re doing a double bill at the flicks. All in all, a good week is (un)planned and I intend to enjoy it before reality comes knocking again.

Have a good week all!

Holiday Fuck Yeah!

If anybody needs me next week, I will mostly be doing these things:

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    Just hanging with my mates on my time off

    First and foremost, I will be sleeping in. Or if not sleeping in late then at least turning off the alarm and waking up naturally. Which will no doubt mean I’ll be eating cereal in front of Netflix by 8 but with the option to go back to bed whenever the fuck I feel like it – which is kind of the same thing?

  • Updating my CV. I say this but I feel like it’s not a task I want to be doing in my free time, you know? I feel like I should at least be dipping my toe in the job market, seeing what else is out there. That said, I am seriously looking into night classes in web coding because I’m confident I’d be pretty good at that shit, and have been doing quite a lot of web based projects lately – so I’ll be considering my options while I have some time off.
  • Graffiti hunting. As if I’d spend my down time doing anything else. Graffitibridgeblog.com needs some attention and some of Brighton’s best artists are going to be down at the Brighton i360 this Sunday, covering 100 metres of hoarding around the building site – obvs I want to see what they come up with for myself.
  • Thinking about joining the gym. Wait, what? You read that right. I just want to get strong and feel powerful, not out of breath after walking up two flights of stairs – notice how I didn’t say “lose weight”? I’m not doing that to myself anymore. I’ll exercise to feel hench, end of.
  • Not wearing clothes. Naked is always best. Maybe not for my neighbour whose front door looks directly into our kitchen (You’re welcome neighbour).
  • Getting my Marvel on. I thought I was done with the Marvel universe, then I figured I’m just All Avenger-ed Out. Ant-Man and Fantastic Four have turned my head. Paul Rudd in leather? In. Miles Teller in anything? Donesies. Premier seats in the back row with my bae = Heaven.
  • Reading. Lots and lots of reading. This is what I’ve got on the go now, and what’s next:

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The First Bad Man by Miranda July
Triptych by Karin Slaughter
Carol by Patricia Highsmith
I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes (Currently reading)
Church of Marvels by Leslie Parry

(Unicorn notebook from Paperchase – for ideas, innit.)

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  • I will, of course, also be blogging! By the end of my time off, I will have reviewed 2 films with Jillian. We took a week’ hiatus last week due to our pesky internet outage, but it’s now back in full effect and now so am I. Next up: Wetlands. Any film that uses the tagline “The most WTF, NSFW movie at this year’s Sundance Film Festival” has got my attention, TBH.

Have a good week, all. I know I will! *Takes off bra*