Tag: Blogging

November Rain

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

I fell asleep last night full of creative plans for this lovely fresh month and now it’s here, I’m not really sure what those plans were. I’ve had 8 hours and some v. vivid dreams since then. I think really all I wanted was to come up with a solid plan for the rest of 2019 and sweep out the Halloween for another year, much as it pains me.

I’m so indecisive about the look I want for my blog – it really does change as often as my mood. I want it clean then I want it colourful, I want it flooded with images – then like a long form journal. I need to land on something and love it for what it is. Technically the content should speak for itself and honestly, who am I really doing this for? Only myself and the three lovely people who read it.

I’m quite conscious that there are too many film reviews, which I love doing but this was never mean to be a full-on film site – and I think maybe I use these as fillers where I could be digging deeper. That’s often my biggest criticism of myself, I fail to dig deep enough, even when I’m talking about the dark days. I’ve always wanted to be authentically myself and I think I am but there’s more I could share, more going on beneath this picture perfect exterior. LOLLLLL.

Perhaps I’ll go balls to the wall from this post onwards. Can you handle it? I’m not sure I can handle it. It’s raining like a motherfucker out there and is so windy that work lost all power for 20 minutes and it was great. I’ve spent the afternoon indoors re-watching Spaced and loving life. Nesting is the best.

I’ll pull my finger out when the rain stops and the weekend is over.

Happy November all.

No comments

Mid-Year Resolutions

I actually didn’t make any concrete resolutions for 2019. Not as the bells rang it in anyway. Later I would vow to stop shopping and the less said about that the better*.

But we’re six months into the year (SIX MONTHS WHAT THE FUCK) and I thought I’d revisit the concept of resolutions and change, and maybe set down some small goals for the rest of the year. Also, I saw someone else had done this on their blog and it sounded like a good idea.

So. A few things I’m going to focus my (un)pretty little head on for the rest of 2019.

Clothing

Damn, I need to hang up my clothes. I have so many lovely things and I end up wearing the same outfits all the time because they’re buried deep in the corner of my room. Not only should I be looking after my clothes so they stay nice, I should be letting each piece enjoy their moment in the sun. Who am I to deny any of them?

I’ve actually got a day off today – and I know I should pause Bridesmaids for the 41st time, and go and do this immediately – yet, I’m not going to. I’ll take care of it at the weekend, that’s only a day away. Sorry dresses.

Journaling

A long long time ago, when I was backpacking around Australia and in love with a pretty but terrible Aussie dude, I was obsessed with keeping a diary. I had diaries when I was a kid/tween, obviously but traveling actually gave me something to talk about finally and so did the hot, sweaty sex I was having with Philip (with one ‘l’).

I think I might start one up again, not to record all the sex I have (or don’t, I’m married) but to record moods and important feelings. It’s old school and I like the idea of pretty blank pages paving the way for a torrent of truth. Then again, what is this blog then, if not a journal for my true feelings? Well, I don’t think I have to tell you that although I am candid here, I don’t talk about everything. I mean, I share my anxiety all the time but I leave the depression and the really destructive thoughts out of it. They need an outlet too.

Walking

I really need to stop dropping my hard-earned shrapnel on buses when home to work (or work back home) is only a 20 minute stroll. I’m a lazy toad and I’ve been better lately but I need to follow this goal through.

With fully charged Bluetooth headphones and a library of untouched podcast episodes, there is literally no excuse not to be moving. I feel so much better when I do it – fresh air, a bit of exercise, good graffiti on the way – it’s a no-brainer.

Homebodying

As with the clothing situation, I also want to start being more houseproud. I can be a little slovenly sometimes (ALL THE TIME). Alas – and also yey! – I married a man at the exact same level of fastidiousness as me. This means we’re slobs together and there’s nobody really to motivate the other to do better. Sometimes, this is sheer, messy heaven but there always comes a tipping point eventually. I’m here now.

Eventually, we want to buy a place and I would like to do that as a forty-something woman who has a home ready so anyone can drop by, unannounced. I mean, not literally, that’s totally unacceptable – but in theory. How hard can it be to stay on top of things? I might also start buying plants. FUCKING HELL.

Witching

After I shared this post on social media, one of my best friends in the whole world sent me the loveliest message about how he too has been practicing and finding comfort in witchcraft. Which made me feel really good and solidified all the reasons I want to explore this in the first place. How lucky am I to be surrounded by people who instinctively get me?

So I’m definitely going to set aside time to study properly and really focus on what this practice can bring me. I’m really excited about it.

How are your resolutions going? And, if you didn’t make any – how’s your 2019 so far?

*I actually haven’t been THAT bad, I’ll do a new update shortly. Update #1 is here.

The Abyss

Kath recently talked about how blogging sometimes feels like screaming into the void and it’s got me to thinking about my own motivations.

I agree to a certain extent that sometimes it feels like you’re pouring out your innermost thoughts only to yourself, and maybe one or two other people.

I know my mum is my number one fan who often references the things I’ve said in conversation. She’s not really into the film posts, which is understandable and part of the reason I’m trying to keep my content more balanced. I enjoy the thought that even if we haven’t seen each other for a while, she can dip in and gauge how I’m feeling (I only wish this was a two way street). Although, she has an uncanny gift for knowing that even before I’ve acknowledged it myself.

I know Jill and Kath pop in on the regs. They’re much better at that than I am. I know Meghan will stop by occasionally – and I’m lucky to have the odd new follower who’ll take the time to comment or click like.

I’m actually pretty happy with that. I do it first and foremost for myself but would be lying if I said I didn’t care at all about being appreciated. We live in a ‘likes’ motivated society now, where our worth is directly linked to how many hearts we get on Instagram every morning (or so it feels). It’s hard to step away from that mindset and just enjoy things for what they are.

I think sometimes when what you’re doing gets popular it starts to feel less like yours. Not that it’s ever happened to me. I don’t like the thought of my bijou but safe place changing too much. So what if I’m writing reviews nobody will ever really read? I like the way I write and I like looking back on my life, on the good and the hard times – on how I’m changing every year.

There are heaps of posts I look back on now that make me cringe. They could have been written by a completely different girl – one who really didn’t like or accept herself. With this in mind maybe it is even more imperative that this is a safe place.

What do the blogger hobbyists out there think?

Other People’s Blogs

I’m a very bad blogger. I mean, I post regularly on my own blog which is fine but I’m bad at commenting and keeping up with other people’s blogs and I wish to change that. We’re a community after all and spreading the love is the right thing to do.

Here are a few blogs I read as much as I can – some obvious additions and some real hidden gems. Go give them some love, why don’t you? We could all do with some new and enriching viewpoints. Oh, and they’re all women. Go figure.

Lightle-tainment

Obviously I’m hugely biased here given that Lightle is my homie but she is very clever, I swear. Talking about most of the things that float my boat too, my girl has a way with words and her love of all things entertainment is really fun to be part of.

Best recent posts:

I’ll Work Something Out

Natalie doesn’t blog all the time, more’s the pity. She seems to have this thing called a real life. Nevertheless, the essays she has written to date are lovely, honest, relatable and funny. Everything I ask for in a blog.

Best recent posts:

Lady K’s Movie Dialogue

Kath might be this blog’s biggest cheerleader and for that I am honestly so grateful. Kath shares my taste for movies and books so almost all her content is my jam. I’m a particular fan of anything that examines an original film/book and its adaptations/sequels which is lucky for me ‘cos Kath has done some absolute bangers.

Best recent posts:

The Pink Panther Snipes Again

As if I’d write a list and not include Wifey. Jill’s blog has been a source of constant joy for me for years now – and her friendship even more so. It blows my mind that I have a Librarian friend that I’ve only met once across the Pond but it’s the best thing ever. I love Jillian’s appreciation of terrible B-movies and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Best recent posts:

Screen Queens

I love Screen Queens, a blog created and written by young women and members of the LGBT community. Their content is brilliant and thought-provoking. Also quite often horror themed which of course is a bit of me.

Best recent posts:

Which blogs do you love?

PRO-crastination

‘Amazing April’ hasn’t exactly started with a bang. I just haven’t had the adequate oompf to even get it started.

I’ve been feeling pretty run down this week and I’ve been going to bed at a ridiculously early hour most nights to try and combat that. Woe is me, huh?

This is me being all period-y and needy – nobody needs to hear it. I know this feeling is temporary – and I’m still aiming to get some posts up this weekend and over the next week to catch up.

I’ve got some reviews to catch up on, a splash of introspection and a post about Mental Healt first aid. So no harm, no foul.

I just wanted to check in and stay accountable to my original vow to make April super productive. It’s coming.

How are you doing?

Amazing April

I’m in a bit of a slump at the moment with the blog. I mean, I have been blogging regularly but it’s been mainly film reviews (which obviously I LOVE) but this isn’t exclusively a film blog and I want more of *me* to shine through.

I’m just having a problem with content, like what do I want to talk about? I’m sure if I put my mind to it I won’t be able to shut up so I’ve decided to make April my bitch. I will post something of note on Monday, Wednesday and Friday of each week in the month and anytime around that if I fancy it.

Putting down my intentions here makes me feel like I’ll actually do it. In the meantime, I just finished a fascinating course for work which I’m definitely going to tell you about because it was life changing. Honestly.

How are you?

5 Years of A Voluptuous Mind + 2019 Foreword

According to my WordPress stats, today is my five year anniversary. Looking back I see that five years ago almost to the day A Voluptuous Mind was born.

A LOT has changed since I wrote that foreword, including the name of my blog and a lot of my likes and dislikes. I can’t remember being so into Matthew McConaughey to be honest, and of course there’s a massive shadow now cast over the actor who played Chuck Bass (allegedly). More importantly, Mariah Carey has grown on me like a glittery fungus and I’m not mad at her anymore.

As a person I’ve changed too and I hope for the better. I’m no longer so hung up on the idea of being anything other than me. I’m not fixated with losing weight and I’ve never been happier. The ideal of perfection is an illusion and it’s unobtainable, with ever moving goal posts – I’m glad I’ve realised that focussing on my mental health and well-being is more important that counting calories and the way I look.

I thought I’d celebrate this very special occasion by writing a new foreword, a brand new 2019 version. I’ll review it again in 2024.

Welcome to The Middle Row, formerly A Voluptuous Mind. This blog is no longer a ‘work in progress’, though sometimes it still feels that way. Even after five years I don’t think I’ve really landed on what I want it to be. And that’s okay.

I live in Brighton and work in Customer Services for a financial company. I love my job but I get bored easily. Luckily I have plenty of other things to keep me sane. I write a movie column for the call centre magazine and also have a work blog that gets nice comments. I’m also a rep for our in-house support team and am a point of contact if a colleague needs help with a work or non-work related issue. That’s one of my favourite parts of working for the company.

Outside work I have this blog and I also podcast. At the moment I’m planning a new horror themed podcast with two good friends. We’re all really excited about it and I will be sharing some of our new content here. But of course.

I live with anxiety and depression, something I finally faced up to a few years ago. I now understand myself so much better and know when to give myself space. I’m still obsessed with film, especially horror movies and I think my anxiety feeds into this. There’s something of a release found in the films I most enjoy.

I love to read, particularly Gothic horror, ghost stories and crime fiction. I love to be tattooed and I’m a shopaholic.

Thank you for reading A Middle Row, honestly – to every person who takes the time to visit and comment, I appreciate you.

It would be remiss not to mention the wonderful people I have met here on the blog. I have had friends from all around the world ever since I started blogging almost 20 years ago and they illuminate my social media feeds every day with their experiences and opinions.

And of course, the friendship I have with my blog wife Jill is one of the most important to me. We’ve been reviewing films for years now (more on that soon) and even though I can be highly disorganised and sloppy sometimes with the assignments, it means the world to me. So to Jill I say: thanks for the memories boo – looking forward to way more.

Thank you for reading for the last five years and here’s to fifty more.

New Blog, New Me

Happy New Year!

2019 looks set to be quite the year but I’m choosing to stay optimistic. I thought I’d begin the year with a semi-fresh start and a new blog name and goal. Which is equal parts exciting and downright pant-wetting.

I’m hanging up A Voluptuous Mind after several years for something more me.

So welcome to The Middle Row, named after my new favourite spot in the cinema. Once I was a strictly back row kind of gal until I started going regularly with my friend Helen, who’s a front of the theater dweller. The middle row is our compromise and now I feel perfectly positioned.

Don’t worry though, all my posts have followed me over. I’ve just merged them with Thursday Night at the Movies and my mental health blog. Three for the price of one!

It was getting a little pointless keeping everything separate and when I thought about it, it made sense to put them all here. I mean, these are the things I want to talk about collectively after all. So I suppose I’m officially a Movie and Mental Health blogger with a steaming dollop of anything I fancy thrown into the mix.

The good news is that the Blog Collab is back next week with a Free for All January plus shit loads more posts about books I’ve been reading, films and TV I’ve been watching – and all my hopes and dreams besides.

I hope you’ve followed me over and enjoy the new scenery.

Plan B

Blogging has been sparse since the wonderful #blogtober wrapped up and I don’t really like that, so I’m setting myself some writing goals for the next couple of months.

November is half done of course so I’ve been slack as usual but it’s never too late to pull it together. I’ve got plans for #blogmas too, my own take on bloggers fave #vlogmas. Continue reading “Plan B”