Level 42 + The Next Year’s Bucket List

Here I am, 42 years old and honestly, how did I get here? Yeah yeah, the natural passing of time, but really, HOW? I don’t feel this old (maybe in the knees and hips), I still feel like a young adult at best, no matter how much life experience I rack up.

One of my friends asked me the other day if I like being older and honestly, that was probably the first time I stopped to think about my answer. I do like it. I feel content. I’m more secure in my relationships than I’ve ever been but also in myself. I feel like that life experience mentioned above has molded me into a pretty sound person.

Sure, there are things I want to change and that will probably always be the way but I am ridiculously blessed and I know it. With all that in mind I thought I’d set myself some Level 42 goals because it’s good to always be always aiming for something, however small. I plan to grow my hair, concentrate on Wicca and spell casting – visit a couple of places – but I also have some additional plans.

In no particular order:

Cut down on spending

Recently I totted up how many times I’d ordered from ASOS this year (so far) and I’m too embarrassed to share the figure. I’ve been leaning on shopping for way too long as an emotional top up and it is no longer something I want in my life.

80% of the time I return the order anyway and that almost makes it worse. All that wasted time and energy returning packages. I could be reading!

So, no more… waste. No more fast fashion – more of a sensible attitude towards my finances. Like a proper 40 something.

Draw more

This one is pretty self-explanatory. I want to draw and colour more, it makes me happy. I’m under no illusion about my talents but that’s not the point. Being bad at something and doing it anyway is freeing.

Guess who got a Hobbycraft voucher to spend on materials for her birthday?

Learn burlesque

In the new year I’m going to look for a burlesque class. I’m sick of hating on my body so I’m going to start celebrating it instead. That simple.

I’m not looking to be the next (fat) Dita Von Teese but I’ve been inspired by a gorgeous plus size dancer on Instagram and let me tell you, she makes it look hottttt.

To quote Penny in Dirty Dancing:

“God wouldn’t have given you maracas if he didn’t want you to shake ’em…”

This point will hopefully play into the next one.

Make more time for boning

I want to start making more time for sex. With a full-time job and a busy social life, it’s easy to put it off most nights. It’s not fair and I don’t want to put it in second place anymore.

My husband is fine and I want to jump him – but we do need to make time and take our time. I’ll be making more effort from now on, and if that means putting on more Marvin Gaye and practicing my new burlesque moves then bring it.

Sign up for Astrology and Tarot courses

These are my next courses and I’m really excited about them. I’ve loved my Wicca diplomas so much and I think of astrology and tarot as an extension of those.

I don’t know where any of my new knowledge will lead me, I’m just open to magic and that’s enough for now.

Buy a home

This is definitely the biggest goal on the list and the scariest – and maybe this isn’t something you’re supposed to talk about openly – but we’ve been offered some help in this area and hopefully next year will be the year we move forward. This is one of the main reasons I want to be more sensible with any spare cash we have – I can’t honestly borrow money or take on something so committed while still being a thoughtless shopper. It’s just not the one.

I hope this happens for us, I’m sure it will but I’m under no illusion – when we buy we won’t be able to buy in central Brighton and leaving it is massive. It will be worth it though.

So these are the goals I plan to stick to in my next year on Earth – I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Until then…

Bring it on, Level 42!

A Witching Hour Update

A witchy update for you today because I’m (almost) all horror filmed out. I’ve finished my first diploma in basic Wicca (distinction, baby!) and I’ve decided to move on to the advanced course next.

I’m planning to take a few weeks break to do a bit of solo reading and work on my Book of Shadows before I start that though. I want to try out a few basic spells and add a few things to my armoury; I need candles, crystals and an athame (a ceremonial blade used for spells).

Last week my lovely husband drove me around the woodland areas of Brighton so I could collect nature bits for my altar. I was bit of a brat at the first stop because it didn’t look how I’d pictured it in my mind but once we moved on it was fine. I got lots of lovely conkers and learned that there is a surprisingly lack of oak trees in the places I would expect to find them.

Things are coming along nicely on the witch front, slowly but surely. I’m just enjoying getting my head around the history of Wicca and working out how I can make it work for me in an everyday setting. I’m trying to be a good witch from the foundations up, to be mindful of karma and bad energy – which is hard when your arch nemesis at work keeps talking to you in the kitchen and trying to give you advice on how to dye your hair without ruining it (which, admittedly is very useful but still). I guess I am going to have to accept that I can’t love everybody and not everybody can love me – and then let it go. I will not actively seek conflict or drama – even if it is fun to bitch about over a vodka & ginger ale after work.

I feel very much better all-round honestly and I am sure it’s because of the Wicca. It works well in tandem with my anxiety issues and gives me somewhere to concentrate my energy and I swear I can feel a marked difference in my outlook. There are still sad days but they seem more manageable and hopeful – like even just opening yourself up to the possibility of magic is enough to make life seem more beautiful.


I was speaking to my mum about it last night and the core of white witchcraft isn’t that different to her Buddhism. Meditation is a strong grounding tool within both religions – and both are heavily driven by karma – Wicca has the Three-Fold Law, the notion that anything you do, good or bad, will come back on you three-fold. I like the thought that we both have our own ‘thing’ and that our things share similarities – it make me feel more comforted and close to her.

So things are still exciting and they make sense – and I am thoroughly enjoying my journey to becoming the baddest witch I can be.

What have you been up to?

Amazing Grace

I don’t do enough freestyle posts and I think it’s a shame. When I first started blogging it was very personal, almost like a diary of what I was doing on the daily. At least once a week I thought it would be nice not to overthink things and just go with what I’ve been up to.

Lucky for us I actually went out at the weekend for a change and have something of note to report! I also hung out with the one and only Grace Jones. Well, if you don’t count the hundreds of other people between us. More on that later.

This weekend was Brighton’s own version of Christmas: Pride. The build-up to this weekend has always been immense. All the shops, bars and restaurants put on their rainbow clothes and the whole city is swathed in colour. It never looks better than it does right now.

This year the festival welcomed Kylie (the original and best Kylie OBVIOUSLY) and the crowd went wild. The parade too was a raging success – and I avoided them both completely. I just couldn’t bring myself to take on the crowds this year but I did have quite bad FOMO. Pride has been such massive part of my personal history and memories. This was cured by Sunday and the LoveBN1 Festival, to which I won tickets at work (for this piece).

Honestly, I was in two minds about handing the pair of tickets over to someone less hermit-like but I knew my friends Matt and Helen were going so I tagged along with them. I was promised a much more chilled day that the carnage of Saturday – and that’s exactly what I got. The headliner was Jessie J, an artist I’m not that into (Helen loves her) – but who turns down the opportunity to witness the OG Grace Jones in such a setting? Not this guy!

Along with the House Gospel Choir (who were wonderful), Grace was the highlight of the day and maybe even my year so far (along with Neneh at the Roundhouse). Honestly, I thought I knew what to expect but I really had no idea – she must hail from another planet. She’s absolutely stunning and I loved her set. Admittedly, I wasn’t that familiar with her back catalogue but it’s right up my street, very reggae inspired. She was also a total wit, demanding wine from an assistant, changing outfits on stage while chatting to the crowd – and being scandalous in front of the children (she said, if any of the kids ask if she’s a man or a woman to “tell them I’m a woman, wearing a man” and came out wearing a strap-on).

She hula hooped for the last number which I believe was Pull Up to the Bumper. Basically, she is the ultimate queen and I’m forever obsessed.

Pull up to my bumper baby
In your long black limousine
Pull up to my bumper baby
And drive it in between ~ Grace Jones – Pull Up to the Bumper

Anyway, we had a great time. It was so chilled out, just the three of us. The drinks flowed and it didn’t rain too much – all was full of love. I feel so lucky to have both of them in my life – they inspire me to be freer and do more interesting things but I can also totally be myself with them both. You don’t get that every day.

Now it’s Monday afternoon and I’m still feeling slightly delicate from yesterday. My body aches from the walking and the dancing, I’m sooo tired – but I feel good.

I feel great actually – just like Grace.

How was your weekend?