My Bloody VALENTINE

I hate Valentine’s Day with a passion. Honestly can we do away with it, please? It makes me so mad because I end up questioning the validity of my own relationship just because I haven’t had 100 long stemmed roses and a 7 foot teddy bear delivered to my workplace. We do cards but that’s about it and that’s fine.

However. This year The Basses are going on a little London trip – in fact I need to be ready in the next 90 minutes. This wasn’t planned for Valentine’s but happens to coincide with Cupid’s birthday so why not, eh?

We’re seeing Neneh Cherry at Camden Roundhouse and are planning a lovely leisurely mooch around Camden. First stop Amy Winehouse’s statue then the market, food and graffiti (if I can find any). I cannot wait. We’re staying over tonight and it will be nice just to get away and enjoy our own company.

Because we’re away today, it means I’ll have to forgo the annual viewing of my two favourite (trashy) anti-valentine’s movies. Don’t worry though, I’ll be catching up on the weekend and I’ve shared them below because I’m nothing if not a giver.

Valentine (2001)

Uh, hello? This movie stars some of the biggest early noughties stars of the moment. Well, Denise Richards, David Boreanaz and Katherine Heigl (remember them?). It’s pure garbage but it’s my kind of garbage and I simply adore it. I actually revisited it recently as Netflix has just added it but I think I might go back again for the lols.

Our antagonist is a cupid-mask wearing, knife-wielding maniac exacting bloody revenge on the women who rejected him back in adolescence (or is he?). One by one a group of mean girls are dispatched from this world in imaginative and brutal ways. Personally I’m a big fan of Denise Richards’ death scene (*spoiler*), an example of careless words coming back to haunt you. There’s so much to love here and the aesthetic is very appealing.

Of course this is murder by numbers but it’s all belly tops and bitches, and I’ll always be here for it. Be nice to nerds, girls – that’s my take home. Also, *some* men are entitled whiners, so maybe scratch that and do you, boo.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

It’s been a while for this one (I don’t think I actually did it last year) so I’m looking forward to my revisit. A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, MBV: Reloaded focuses on a small mining town terrorised by a serial killer with a pickaxe.

When Tom (Jensen Ackles) returns (from sea? I don’t know) to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s night massacre, he finds himself suspected of committing the murders. AWKWARD.

He has, it should be said, just inherited the town mine previously owned by his father. The mine is the scene of a tragic 1997 accident – and the catalyst for the Valentine’s massacre the following year – so you just know no good can come of it.

As with many traditional slasher movies, there is a lot of illicit shagging and characters who are literally the worst so when they’re taken down one by one by a killer in a gas mask, you can’t help but cheer.

“Be Mine 4 Ever”

I find the mine setting quite novel and the mounting evidence against Tom (is he guilty or not?) is satisfying. And what better way than spending time with morally ambigious yet attractive young people?

How are you spending your Valentine’s? ♥

31 Horrors – A Round Up

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Man, I love Halloween (and yes, I am finding it hard to let go). Not least because I get to indulge my passion for horror movies in a more unabashed way.

This October I made a deal with myself that I’d watch 31 horror movies in 31 days – and here’s the list (including my ratings).

I’m so chuffed to be able to include Creep 2, the follow on from Patrick Brice‘s masterpiece Creep. If you haven’t seen that one yet, you’ve got to, it still haunts me to this day.

You better run

  1. Last Girl Standing (2015) – 3/5
  2. Under the Shadow (2016) – 4/5
  3. Gerald’s Game (2017) – 5/5
  4. Boys in the Trees (2016) – 3.5/5
  5. Session 9 (2001) – 4/5
  6. The Void (2016) – 3/5
  7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) – 3.5/5
  8. Better Watch Out (2016) – 4/5
  9. Cult of Chucky (2017) – 3.5/5
  10. Exhibit A (2007) – 2.5/5
  11. The Atticus Institute (2015) – 4/5
  12. The Black Room (2016) – 0.5/5
  13. Friday the 13th (1980) – 3/5
  14. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) – 5/5
  15. A Dark Song (2016) – 4.5/5
  16. Long Pigs (2007) – 3.5/5
  17. Creep (2014) – 5/5
  18. The Sacrament (2013) – 4.5/5
  19. The Den (2013) – 3/5
  20. The Innkeepers (2011) – 4/5
  21. Creepshow (1982) – 3/5
  22. Two Evil Eyes (1990) – 4/5
  23. Killing Ground (2016) – 3.5/5
  24. 1922 (2017) – 3/5
  25. Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1972) – 3/5
  26. Carrie (1976) – 4/5
  27. The Visit (2015) – 3.5/5
  28. Trick r’ Treat (2007) – 4/5
  29. Digging Up the Marrow (2014) – 3.5/5
  30. Creep 2 (2017) – 4/5
  31. Tales of Halloween (2015) – 3.5/5

How cool are these posters?

Roll on next October! 🎃♥️