This week’s film proves the real monsters are teenage girls. Am I right?

Girls with Balls

All girls volley ball team The Falcons end up stranded in the middle of nowhere after their mini-van breaks down. Little do they know they landed in degenerate hunters’ territory…


My Review

The Falcons have just won an important game and are on their way home when their tour camper breaks down. A little background first, if you will. The team includes; super bitch Morgane (Manon Azem), bossy team captain Hazuki (Anne-Solenne Hatte) and soon to be playing for the nationals Jeanne (Tiphaine Daviot). They are rag tag bunch of players who don’t always get along and in fact are rowing viciously when the camper van takes a funny turn.

Morgane more than anything is disgruntled that Jeanne has been approached by a scout at the game and could potentially be moving onto bigger and better things. Jeanne has also just gone public with her new man, who may or may not be a total skeese but more on that later.

Morgane is seriously gorgeous but has a heart of black tar and relentlessly bullies team underdog M.A. (Louise Blachère). Along for the ride are adorable lesbians Tatiana (Margot Dufrene) and Dany (Verissimo-Petit), mascot Lise (Camille Razat) and Coach (Canet) who frankly, is sick of the girls’ shit.

The team pop into a local pub when they find themselves lost in the wilderness and they soon learn the locals are not particularly warm and fuzzy. In fact they are more than a little off and the pub landlord runs foul of Tatiana’s fist when he gets too close to her woman. Morgane also assaults a boy who grabs her in the middle of an impromptu table dance. Needless to say the gang are keen to get out of dodge as quickly as possible.

Being lost is a bit of a problem but they hole up in the camper for the night, determined to reach home in the morning. Which is all kinds of lovely, isn’t it? Until their friends from the pub turn up with weapons and declare hunting season. Alas the girls (and Coach) have landed smack bang in the middle of a twisted hunting ground and they’ve got no choice now but to fight to the death.

Are they the team they purport to be? Here’s hoping because they’re going to need to rely on each other if they’re going to survive…

One by one the team bite the bullet but it’s not always at the hands of the hunters, is it Miss Mordane? Our queen bitch isn’t adverse to slicing and dicing her pals when the mood takes her and in the kerfuffle, it’s very easy to cover it up. When she kills Lise though, it’s one step too far. Meanwhile, Lise has admitted to Jeanne that she’s slept with her boyfriend – and downtrodden M.A. decides to step up and be the badass she was always meant to be.

Who will be left standing?

My Comments

Hmm. This should have been way better than it was but it isn’t a complete write-off. It plays with very real emotions such as jealousy and insecurity, while examining the concept of true team spirit. The girls have all got it but one, and are only as strong as their weakest link, no prizes for guessing who that might be. It’s bitchy fun and satisfying when the women start to fight back – and more so when real allegiances are formed, new ones beyond their roles in the team.

I bloody love M.A. who is personally victimised by Regina George Morgane in the meanest ways. Constantly ridiculed for being the fat and unappealing one, she finally snaps and begins retaliating, even before the hunters arrive.

I must admit to zoning out a little bit before the end so didn’t really get why the hunters captured the girls but there seems to be some sort of ritual at play. The men are not portrayed in the best way, playing stereotypical country bumpkin types that are most definitely inbred but who cares, when there are a satisfying number of final girls and Morgane gets her comeuppance?

Jeanne also pays a visit to her proven to be cheating new beau and he’s gonna wish he’d never been born.

Film details:

Starring: Guillaume Canet, Dany Verissimo-Petit, Denis Lavant
Director: Olivier Afonso
Year: 2018
IMDB Rating: 3.8/10
My Rating: 3/5

What does my champion think of GWB? Would she give it a bump up to score the winning goal or leave it to rot in the woods? Find out here.

3 thoughts on “Girls with Balls

  1. M.A. was such a great character, but I lol’ed every time Morgane called her fat. Like basically every “fat” girl on film, she was maybe 10 pounds more than the other girls. Being 10 pounds overweight absolutely does not make you fat in any way, shape, or form.
    But yes, I still liked her a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Completely agree. I also agree wholeheartedly with what you say about the sexualization of the school girls in your post. Yawn. This could have been brilliant but alas… Back to the drawing board x


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