Kath recently talked about how blogging sometimes feels like screaming into the void and it’s got me to thinking about my own motivations.
I agree to a certain extent that sometimes it feels like you’re pouring out your innermost thoughts only to yourself, and maybe one or two other people.
I know my mum is my number one fan who often references the things I’ve said in conversation. She’s not really into the film posts, which is understandable and part of the reason I’m trying to keep my content more balanced. I enjoy the thought that even if we haven’t seen each other for a while, she can dip in and gauge how I’m feeling (I only wish this was a two way street). Although, she has an uncanny gift for knowing that even before I’ve acknowledged it myself.
I know Jill and Kath pop in on the regs. They’re much better at that than I am. I know Meghan will stop by occasionally – and I’m lucky to have the odd new follower who’ll take the time to comment or click like.
I’m actually pretty happy with that. I do it first and foremost for myself but would be lying if I said I didn’t care at all about being appreciated. We live in a ‘likes’ motivated society now, where our worth is directly linked to how many hearts we get on Instagram every morning (or so it feels). It’s hard to step away from that mindset and just enjoy things for what they are.
I think sometimes when what you’re doing gets popular it starts to feel less like yours. Not that it’s ever happened to me. I don’t like the thought of my bijou but safe place changing too much. So what if I’m writing reviews nobody will ever really read? I like the way I write and I like looking back on my life, on the good and the hard times – on how I’m changing every year.
There are heaps of posts I look back on now that make me cringe. They could have been written by a completely different girl – one who really didn’t like or accept herself. With this in mind maybe it is even more imperative that this is a safe place.