Keanu was my first love. Honestly, when I first clapped eyes on his sultry good looks, he stirred something in me that wasn’t completely innocent or holy – he made me curious about the opposite sex. Parenthood was my jam in particular and when I think about it even now, I get a little tingle.

I haven’t stopped loving him since and if we’re honest, this post is just one giant thirst trap. I’m using Keanu’s amazing 2019 as an excuse to post pictures of him and I’m not even going to deny it. It has been quite the year though so I thought I’d look at all the reasons Mr Reeves in still, and always with be, The One.


Not All Men Keanu

I don’t think men should be congratulated for doing bare minimum (not being perverts, etc) but in this climate, the actual good guys do stand out. While I don’t know Keanu personally (more’s the pity), I believe he’s a good person.

Recent photographs of him standing respectfully next to female co-stars (including Dolly Parton) and fans alike, keeping his hands strategically off their bodies has done nothing but reinforce this.

Horsin’ Around Keanu

Uh, John Wick 3 was fun AF but Keanu riding a horse through the streets of NYC, while fighting off the bad guys? HELLO. To be that saddle, amiright?!

A word about the John Wick franchise. I love the physicality of the role and it’s perfect for our boy, who’s notoriously method when it comes to his action parts. Even as an older gentleman, K uses his body to its fullest and I might have to stop typing this and have a little lie down for a moment.

But seriously, John Wick is a highly nuanced character and not just emotionally. Our hero kicks serious butt but he also suffers, looks knackered and in need of a damn good bubble bath after every fight – and I respect that.

This GQ Shoot Keanu

Sir Reeves was GQ’s May cover star and oh boy does he work it. No, I haven’t read The Legend of Keanu Reeves article that accompanies the set but I will. I definitely will.

*Sigh*

Always Be My Maybe Keanu

The man who embraces his mediocre nothingness shines greater than any. ~ Keanu Reeves as Keanu Reeves

The man himself plays Ali Wong‘s fling in this lovely romantic comedy and he’s brilliant. Sending himself up as the ultimate Hollywood douche, his scenes shine bright like a diamond in an already sparkling film. Sure, I’m biased so what?

The restaurant segment is wonderful as he and love rival Marcus Kim (Randall Park) vie for Sasha Tran’s (Wong) attention.

Destination Wedding Keanu

The story of two miserable and unpleasant wedding guests, Lindsay and Frank, who develop a mutual affection despite themselves.

I feel like this movie has been out forever in the US but hasn’t even opened in our theaters yet. It’s coming in the Summer I think. Either way, I’m waiting patiently for this Winona Ryder/KR pairing. It will be amazing regardless of whether it’s actually good or not.

Also, Keanu: “Unpleasant”, is that even possible?

Cyberpunk Keanu

I’m not a gamer at all so I genuinely don’t give a fuck about the game itself – however: a moment for this look. Rocking Bucky Barnes chic, CGI Reeves is just as beautiful as the real thing. If Glynn buys and plays Cyberpunk 2077 then maybe I’ll hang around to watch a little bit.

Be My Toy, Keanu

KR voices Canadian stuntman toy Duke Caboom in this month’s Toy Story 4 and I can’t wait. We’ve heard his dulcet tones voicing several animated characters over the years but I think he’ll be a magical addition to the Pixar universe.

“YOU’RE BREATHTAKING!” Keanu

During a Cyberpunk 2077 appearance, in response to a heckler screaming “You’re breathtaking!”, Reeves threw back the compliment, adding “You’re all breathtaking” to the audience. Is he the most perfect human being on this planet? By that token, is he even human? All I know is that we must protect him at all costs.

And finally…

Bill & Ted Face the Music Keanu

Once told they’d save the universe during a time-traveling adventure, 2 would-be rockers from San Dimas, California find themselves as middle-aged dads still trying to crank out a hit song and fulfill their destiny.

B & T are back to save the universe once more and they’ve never looked better. I love the idea of these Californian slackers being grown-ups but still essentially the same characters. If I’m honest I know little else about the premise and that’s okay. Roll on 2020.


It doesn’t seem as though the Keanussance is going to let up any time soon and teenage me would be so stoked about it.

Who knew my fantasy man would get better with every passing year?

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