Day: June 8, 2019

The Hills

One of the most precious lessons I’ve learnt over the years is one of the hardest for me to put into practice. It’s the one about choosing a hill to die on.

I believe if we’re being technical the original phrase (or question) goes a little something like this: “Is this the hill you want to die on?”. Meaning, honestly does it matter enough to die for it right here, right now?

When you think about it, not an awful lot is really worth the time of day we give it. It seems a bit rich for me to type that when I worry endlessly about most things but the fact is, what really matters in life? That we’re halfway decent people, that our loved ones are safe – and our overall well-being. Food, shelter and a bit of pocket money, we all need that.

We don’t need drama or rivalry – and we need to choose our battles wisely.

This is something I really need to start putting in place because I’ve found myself getting stressed lately and finding reasons to get mad about the little things. Basically moaning like a crotchety old fish wife, the most appealing of role models.

I’m constantly telling myself that I need to keep my head down and let those niggles wash over me, but do you think I do?

I wonder again if maybe I’m too sensitive but then I remember what Hannah Gadsby says about sensitivity in her stand-up show Nanette and I know she’s right:

“Stop being so sensitive.” I don’t understand. Why is insensitivity something to strive for? I happen to know that my sensitivity is my strength. I know that. It’s my sensitivity that’s helped me navigate a very difficult path in life. ~ Hannah Gadsby, Nanette

I’m allowed to be mad and I’m allowed to be hurt – and if something doesn’t sit right, I’m allowed to say so, even if I do it badly.

I’m going to stop being frightened to wear my mistakes on my sleeve and I’m going to learn from them. I’m going to fight for the things I believe in and stop worrying about the things that don’t really matter.

When something pisses me off I’m going to consider if this new thing is the hill for me – and if that answer is no, I’m letting that shit go.

So what if someone’s being annoying in the office? From now on, as long as they’re not hurting anybody, I’m going let them be. I’m going to stop giving dickheads the time of day. Ultimately, their opinions and actions DON’T MATTER and won’t matter in a week’s time. I just need to think about those hills and maybe, whether or not I’m the dickhead.

Simple, huh? We’ll see.