My Bloody VALENTINE

I hate Valentine’s Day with a passion. Honestly can we do away with it, please? It makes me so mad because I end up questioning the validity of my own relationship just because I haven’t had 100 long stemmed roses and a 7 foot teddy bear delivered to my workplace. We do cards but that’s about it and that’s fine.

However. This year The Basses are going on a little London trip – in fact I need to be ready in the next 90 minutes. This wasn’t planned for Valentine’s but happens to coincide with Cupid’s birthday so why not, eh?

We’re seeing Neneh Cherry at Camden Roundhouse and are planning a lovely leisurely mooch around Camden. First stop Amy Winehouse’s statue then the market, food and graffiti (if I can find any). I cannot wait. We’re staying over tonight and it will be nice just to get away and enjoy our own company.

Because we’re away today, it means I’ll have to forgo the annual viewing of my two favourite (trashy) anti-valentine’s movies. Don’t worry though, I’ll be catching up on the weekend and I’ve shared them below because I’m nothing if not a giver.

Valentine (2001)

Uh, hello? This movie stars some of the biggest early noughties stars of the moment. Well, Denise Richards, David Boreanaz and Katherine Heigl (remember them?). It’s pure garbage but it’s my kind of garbage and I simply adore it. I actually revisited it recently as Netflix has just added it but I think I might go back again for the lols.

Our antagonist is a cupid-mask wearing, knife-wielding maniac exacting bloody revenge on the women who rejected him back in adolescence (or is he?). One by one a group of mean girls are dispatched from this world in imaginative and brutal ways. Personally I’m a big fan of Denise Richards’ death scene (*spoiler*), an example of careless words coming back to haunt you. There’s so much to love here and the aesthetic is very appealing.

Of course this is murder by numbers but it’s all belly tops and bitches, and I’ll always be here for it. Be nice to nerds, girls – that’s my take home. Also, *some* men are entitled whiners, so maybe scratch that and do you, boo.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

It’s been a while for this one (I don’t think I actually did it last year) so I’m looking forward to my revisit. A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, MBV: Reloaded focuses on a small mining town terrorised by a serial killer with a pickaxe.

When Tom (Jensen Ackles) returns (from sea? I don’t know) to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine’s night massacre, he finds himself suspected of committing the murders. AWKWARD.

He has, it should be said, just inherited the town mine previously owned by his father. The mine is the scene of a tragic 1997 accident – and the catalyst for the Valentine’s massacre the following year – so you just know no good can come of it.

As with many traditional slasher movies, there is a lot of illicit shagging and characters who are literally the worst so when they’re taken down one by one by a killer in a gas mask, you can’t help but cheer.

“Be Mine 4 Ever”

I find the mine setting quite novel and the mounting evidence against Tom (is he guilty or not?) is satisfying. And what better way than spending time with morally ambigious yet attractive young people?

How are you spending your Valentine’s? ♥

Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)

*Minor spoilers*

Things aren’t going great for Lee Israel. Once a lauded writer, her last book – a biography of Estée Lauder – has been a commercial and critical flop. Her agent is avoiding her calls, she’s behind on her rent and she’s just been let go from her job.

Struggling to stay afloat and keep her sick cat from death’s door, Lee sells a personal letter she received from Katharine Hepburn to a local bookseller. Coincidentally, while researching her pet project, another biography this time on Fanny Brice, she finds a letter from Brice to an unknown recipient. Lee sells this to the same bookseller, a lovely woman called Anna (Dolly Wells).

Something Anna says gets Lee to thinking, if the letter contained better content it would no doubt be worth more. An idea is born and Lee begins to forge letters from some of the most prolific deceased writers of all time – Noël Coward, Dorothy Parker – embellishing little details to make them seem more realistic and interesting.

This soon becomes quite the booming business and Lee’s damn good at it. Unfortunately, after one of her Noël Coward letters is sent to a collector who once knew him, it draws suspicion for its openness about his sexuality. Coward was not one to talk so freely about his gayness. In an attempt to keep a low profile and still bring in the coin, Lee calls in a favour from her new friend, drug dealer Jack Hock (Richard E. Grant) who agrees to sell the letters for her.

But how long can the pair keep it up when the world of literary collectibles (and the FBI) are on high alert?

I adored this. McCarthy is wonderful as Lee, a woman with immense talent and a drink problem. I find her situation unbearably sad and as things unravel – and she revisits old wounds AND turns away from new opportunities, it hurts to watch. One particular scene made me cry like a baby and it wasn’t dramatic at all, just supremely relatable.

The friendship between Jack and Lee is also lovely if incredibly tempestuous. Jack’s flamboyance contrasts well with Lee’s reluctance to add any sort of colour or frippery to her life. She’s a no-nonsense broad with a mission and has little time for other people, while he’s determined to rinse every ounce of joy out of life before it’s too late – and damn the consequences.

But there are always consequences, aren’t there? – and our pair are about to learn them. I can’t imagine anyone not having a good time with Jack and Lee but it’s a must for any fan of literature and masses of gumption. Loved it.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ out of ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What are you watching?